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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.1

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 1
In recent years, there have been a number of problems that people in big cities have to cope with every day. My essay will discuss two major problems which are pollution and information overload, and personally I think those people should be encouraged to move to regional areas. Increased levels of pollution have been a great reason for concern among residents of big cities. Owing to a high volume of everyday traffic, massive quantities of pollutants such as CO2 are constantly released into the atmosphere, causing the degradation of air quality. This is closely associated with various types of respiratory diseases or even lung cancer. Also, people in big cities are being bombarded with too much information from the media, including TV, social networking sites and advertisements while the large proportion of information is fake news or exaggerated commercials. This can cause confusion or, in some cases, social anarchy. In my opinion, the Government should do what they can to encourage city dwellers to move to regional areas. First, it will reduce the number of vehicles in cities, which will definitely improve the situation where air pollution caused by traffic disturbs the lives of city residents. Furthermore, fewer people living in big cities will relieve the pressure on these cities’ housing supply systems when many people are living reluctantly in small, suffocating spaces. I think this is extremely important point to consider because living spaces are linked to people’s mental health and how they perform at work. In conclusion, severe air pollution and information bombardment are among the most serious problems facing city dwellers nowadays, and I feel that relevant authorities should encourage people to relocate to other areas to live.
In recent years, there have been a number of problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with every day. My essay will discuss two major problems which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
overload, and
personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional areas.

Increased levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
have been a great reason for concern among residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Owing to a high volume of everyday traffic, massive quantities of pollutants such as CO2 are
constantly
released into the atmosphere, causing the degradation of air quality. This is
closely
associated with various types of respiratory diseases or even lung cancer.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
being bombarded
with too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the media, including TV, social networking sites and advertisements while the large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is fake news or exaggerated commercials. This can cause confusion or, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, social anarchy.

In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should do what they can to encourage city dwellers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional areas.
First
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of vehicles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation where air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
caused by traffic disturbs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of city residents.
Furthermore
, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will relieve the pressure on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
housing supply systems when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living
reluctantly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, suffocating spaces. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living spaces
are linked
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental health and how they perform at work.

In conclusion
, severe air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
bombardment are among the most serious problems facing city dwellers nowadays, and I feel that relevant authorities should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relocate to other areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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