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Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v.2

Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2
Certain experts assert that conventional cultural values could be deteriorated because the field of tourism has gained importance in every nation. If asked, I strongly opine that the problems generated by such trend would be more as compared to any benefit it might bring. To begin with, the major issue by this movement would be increase in the environmental pollution. Since the tourist encourages the usage of plastic, which is not degradable, processing of these waste results into emission of toxic gases. For example, the Thailand authorities has noted that a rise in the number of travellers resulted increased in the content of carbon dioxide in their surroundings by 4%. In addition, boost in the offensive activities has been also a matter of concern. While the travelling individuals visiting the host country are unfamiliar of certain localities, sometimes have to face troubles with the locals residing over there. To exemplify, female visitors are not only burgled by the miscreants but also get physically harassment in several remote areas of Pakistan. However, such trend has a benefit of enhancement in economy, too. As the citizens in the country would revive the chances of various employments with increase in the travellers, the growth rate of such countries becomes high. For instance, the cognizance of jump in per capita income by 9% had been made by the government of Maldives in last year. In conclusion, I believe that an uplift in the atmospheric pollution and criminal activities arising from tourism outweigh the positive aspect of advancement in the economical condition of those lands.
Certain experts assert that conventional cultural values could
be deteriorated
because
the field of tourism has gained importance in every nation. If asked, I
strongly
opine that the problems generated by such trend would be more
as
compared to any benefit it might bring.

To
begin
with, the major issue by this movement would be increase in the environmental pollution. Since the tourist encourages the usage of plastic, which is not degradable, processing of these waste results into emission of toxic gases.
For example
, the Thailand authorities has noted that a rise in the number of
travellers
resulted increased in the content of carbon dioxide in their surroundings by 4%.

In addition
, boost in the offensive activities has been
also
a matter of concern. While the travelling individuals visiting the host country are unfamiliar of certain localities,
sometimes
have to
face troubles with the locals residing over there. To exemplify, female visitors are not
only
burgled by the miscreants
but
also
get
physically
harassment in several remote areas of Pakistan.

However
, such trend has a benefit of enhancement in economy, too. As the citizens in the country would revive the chances of various employments with increase in the
travellers
, the growth rate of such countries becomes high.
For instance
, the cognizance of jump in per capita income by 9% had
been made
by the
government
of Maldives
in last year.

In conclusion
, I believe that an uplift in the atmospheric pollution and criminal activities arising from tourism outweigh the
positive
aspect of advancement in the economical condition of those lands.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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