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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.  v.4

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?  v. 4
Nowadays, citizens are coming across several issues in their daily life while people also have the option to move to regional town in order to get rid of different type (types) of problems which have made their lives miserable. But the question is rising, which types of issued are those? And, Are the citizens needed to encourage to shift (shifting) to other towns by government sector? In this essay, I will highlight some of the problems in city life and give my opinion about how effective changing the location would be if do so. Let’s begin by looking at the difficulty of spending life in cities on (a) regular basis. The main negative is the bulk of traffic that trigger the wastage of most of the precious time of the people. This pile of transports on road not only effect (affect) individual on the regard of time but also creates number of various diseases just because of the emission of hazardous gases from the burning of fuel. For instance, Pakistan is considered to be one of the most polluted country across the globe and due the pollution Pakistanis have to face multiple types of sickness in their everyday life. Moreover, these problems, in the large cities, if do not dare to eradicate it, will cause serious damage in every big city across the world. On the other hand, it is supposed that government should ask them to move to regional town in the remedy of this problem. But, by doing so once cannot be able to enjoy the facilities that have an excess in the big city not in small town. To be more precious, it is to say that people migrate from region to metropolitan cities just for the sake of jobs and if they ask to go back to their respective town will trigger lose in their jobs that is (are) one of the negative (negatives) of it. For example, Karachi holds approximately 25% of the population that are (is) from outside the cities. Furthermore, there should be the other option to avoid facing city’s problem. All thing considered, it is to say that cities are producing (the) severest problem for each body living there on (a) daily basis including time consumption and generation of various disease because of more traffic on road. One of the remedies is to make the people to shift to regional town but this will be hilarious because they come to city to get the job and improve their difficult circumstance. I personally believe there is a need different approach to avoid having everyday problem (problems) of cities.
Nowadays, citizens are coming across several issues in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have the option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(types)
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which have made their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
miserable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the question is rising, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of issued are those? And, Are the citizens needed to encourage
Did you mean "shifting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to shift
(shifting) to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector? In this essay, I will highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and give my opinion about how effective changing the location would be if do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the difficulty of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
on (a) regular basis. The main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
is the bulk of traffic that trigger the wastage of most of the precious time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This pile of transports on road not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
(affect) individual on the regard of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
creates number of various diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the emission of hazardous gases from the burning of fuel.
For instance
, Pakistan
is considered
to be one of the most polluted country across the globe and
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'due'.
due the
pollution Pakistanis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of sickness in their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, in the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, if do not dare to eradicate it, will cause serious damage in every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city across the world.

On the other hand
, it
is supposed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ask them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in the remedy of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
once cannot be able to enjoy the facilities that have an excess in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city not in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. To be more precious, it is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate from region to metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of jobs and if they ask to go back to their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
will trigger lose in their jobs
that is
(are) one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
(negatives) of it.
For example
, Karachi holds approximately 25% of the population that are (is) from outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Furthermore
, there should be the other option to avoid facing city’s problem.

All thing considered, it is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are producing (the)
A determiner is probably missing here: "the severest".
severest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for each body living there on (a) daily basis including time consumption and generation of various disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more traffic on road. One of the remedies is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will be hilarious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to city to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their difficult circumstance. I
personally
believe there is a need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach to avoid having everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(problems)
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?  v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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