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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.9

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 9
In certain demographics of the world, the locals decide to dwell in the complex cities. However, a riffle of predicaments, traffic jam, high crime rates and condensed population, to name a few, happens every single day in the said places. My conviction dictates that the agencies of sovereignty must form and execute the laws to address such. Encouraging the citizens to relocate towards other areas is not the best solution. Furthermore, people move to larger cities, mainly because of the work opportunities and compensations; thereby, the public administrators must ensure that other towns can offer the aforementioned city advantages. Large cities are known to be the sanctuary of dreamers likewise for the law-offenders. More and more beings move in the said places to pursue their career and have a justifiable remuneration. Consequently, urban places become overcrowded and traffics, particularly to work zones, are obnoxiously heavy. Apart from that, massive and progressive towns pessimistically turn into a criminal zone. Clearly, residences in spacious urban areas are troublesome. On a brighter note, the current unhealthy situation of huge cities can still be refashioned. The most basic suggestion, in which I think is justifiable, has been presented – the government must convince the city-dwellers to move to regional towns. Although the idea is basically abstracted, a possibility of failure is foreseeable. Primarily, investigating the reasons why they want to live in massive places is imperative to solve the crisis efficiently. A stellar example of it is my country, Philippines. The majority of the Filipinos choose to stay in the bustling cities due to the unlimited career opportunities, even though the crime rate is undeniably high. People tend to focus on the optimistic side rather than on its disadvantage. As a result, the lawmakers must consider providing the same services in other parts of the country to encourage people to live blissfully in places other than large urban areas. Undoubtedly, the predicaments of every big cities are stoppable with proper leadership and management. As a denouement, residences in complex urban districts have significant problems they need to face each day; but it is not yet late to diminish them. Moreover, the agencies of sovereignty must encourage its constituent to relocate. At the end of the day, all intellectual beings prefer a healthy and peaceful home only when great chances are not limited.
In certain demographics of the world, the locals decide to dwell in the complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, a riffle of predicaments, traffic jam, high crime rates and condensed population, to name a few, happens every single day in the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. My conviction dictates that the agencies of sovereignty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
form and execute the laws to address such. Encouraging the citizens to relocate towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas is not the best solution.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the work opportunities and compensations; thereby, the public administrators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
towns can offer the aforementioned city advantages.

Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are known
to be the sanctuary of dreamers
likewise
for the law-offenders. More and more beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to pursue their career and have a justifiable remuneration.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
become overcrowded and traffics,
particularly
to work zones, are
obnoxiously
heavy. Apart from that, massive and progressive towns
pessimistically
turn into a criminal zone.
Clearly
, residences in spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas are troublesome.

On a brighter note, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
unhealthy situation of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
still
be refashioned
. The most basic suggestion, in which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is justifiable, has
been presented
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
convince the city-dwellers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional towns. Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
basically
abstracted, a possibility of failure is foreseeable.
Primarily
, investigating the reasons why they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is imperative to solve the crisis
efficiently
. A stellar example of it is my country, Philippines. The majority of the Filipinos choose to stay in the bustling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to the unlimited career opportunities,
even though
the crime rate is
undeniably
high.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to focus on the optimistic side
rather
than on its disadvantage.
As a result
, the lawmakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider providing the same services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the country to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
blissfully
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas.
Undoubtedly
, the predicaments of every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are stoppable with proper leadership and management.

As a
'denouement' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "dénouement"
denouement
, residences in complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
districts have significant problems they need to face each day;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
yet
late to diminish them.
Moreover
, the agencies of sovereignty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage its constituent to relocate. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, all intellectual beings prefer a healthy and peaceful home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when great chances are not limited.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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