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Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experiences v.3

These days, more and more employees are devoting more time to their work than their family. This trend has some benefits; however, it has a lot of demerits as well. In this essay, I shall explore the pros and cons of working overtime. On the one hand, working long hours accelerates a person’s professional growth. As a matter of fact, people who are willing to work beyond standard work hours are more likely to be promoted. They are also less likely to be laid off in the event of a downsizing. In this day and age when competition is tough working overtime is the only option for many employees to stay in their job. When employees are willing to put in more hours, the organization will be able to deliver projects on time and this in turn will improve their bottom line. Companies may also share a part of the profit with their employees by offering them higher salaries. On the other hand, when people spend too much time at the workplace their family relationships suffer the most. Having little or no time for one’s spouse and children will lead to conflicts within the family. This will increase the stress levels of employees as we all their family members. Stressed out workers cannot deliver satisfactory performance at the workplace even if they spend too much time in the office. Another downside of this trend is that working long hours without taking a break will affect the health of workers. They become more prone to developing various lifestyle diseases like hyper tension, diabetes and cardiac trouble. This in turn will further reduce their productivity by forcing them to avail of more sick leaves. To conclude, unrealistic targets and tough competition hves forced many employees to work overtime. The main advantage of this situation is that it might improve their chances of getting a promotion or raise. The main disadvantage is that it affects their health and productivity by elevating their stress levels. In my opinion, it is important for employees to strike a work-life balance.
These days, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are devoting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits;
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
demerits
as well
. In this essay, I shall explore the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
accelerates a person’s professional growth. As a matter of fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
beyond standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are more likely to
be promoted
. They are
also
less likely to
be laid
off in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of a downsizing. In this day and age when competition is tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to stay in their job. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are willing to put in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, the organization will be able to deliver projects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and this in turn will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their bottom line.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
may
also
share a part of the profit with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
by offering them higher salaries.

On the other hand
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at the workplace their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships suffer the most. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for one’s spouse and children will lead to conflicts within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as we all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stressed
out workers cannot deliver satisfactory performance at the workplace even if they spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the office. Another downside of this trend is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
without taking a break will affect the health of workers. They become more prone to developing various lifestyle diseases like
This word is normally spelled as one.
hyper tension
, diabetes and cardiac trouble. This in turn will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their productivity by forcing them to avail of more sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
.

To conclude
, unrealistic targets and tough competition
Possible spelling mistake found.
hves
forced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime. The main advantage of this situation is that it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their chances of getting a promotion or raise. The main disadvantage is that it affects their health and productivity by elevating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to strike a work-life balance.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays People Are Spending More Time In Workplace And Staying Away From Home.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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