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People listen to music for the different reason and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v.1

People listen to music for the different reason and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v. 1
Such is the citizens' ignorance about garbage, and such is irresponsible behaviour of them, who argues that debris is not sufficient to be used for recycling, whereas, this is all over the place, creating untidiness, as a result of this common diseases are now inevitable and animals are dying. Therefore, I completely agree with the opinion, the authorities should introduce some policies to enforce recycling and avoid the consequences of rubbish on the environment. The key reason why I consider recycling should be enforced by the authorities is because scattered trash creates an unhealthy atmosphere and causes ill health. To illustrate, wet and dry garbage is thrown out everywhere due to that flies and harmful bacteria’s are grown, these flies sit on our food and harmful bacteria’s are the main root for common sickness. If the government makes some policy to create awareness on recycling and provides education in schools, also makes it sure to put it in practice by sending notices to commercials as well as housing societies, then surely changes in citizens habit will be witnessed successfully. Another reason why I believe the notion that animals and birds are consuming plastic from carelessly thrown waste is taking their lives. Authorities should start penalizing every society, those who are not following recycling rules and contributing to killing innocent animals and birds. This should be shared by all kinds of media to learn from mistakes. In conclusion, I completely agree to increase recycling and to reduce rubbish, the authorities should introduce some policies. This will avoid consequences caused by debris on the environment and certainly will motivate people to take a positive step to reduce, recycle, reuse and deploy trash properly.
Such is the citizens' ignorance about garbage, and such is irresponsible
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of them, who argues that debris is not sufficient to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
, whereas, this is all over the place, creating untidiness,
as a result
of this common diseases are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
inevitable and animals are dying.
Therefore
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies to enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
and avoid the consequences of rubbish on the environment.

The key reason why I consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
should
be enforced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
scattered trash creates an unhealthy atmosphere and causes ill health. To illustrate, wet and dry garbage
is thrown
out everywhere due to that flies and harmful bacteria’s
are grown
, these flies sit on our food and harmful bacteria’s are the main root for common sickness. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policy to create awareness on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
and provides education in schools,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it sure to put it in practice by sending notices to commercials
as well
as housing societies, then
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in citizens habit will
be witnessed
successfully
.

Another reason why I believe the notion that animals and birds are consuming plastic from
carelessly
thrown waste is taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Authorities
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
penalizing every society, those who are not following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and contributing to killing innocent animals and birds. This should
be shared
by all kinds of media to learn from mistakes.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
rubbish, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies. This will avoid consequences caused by debris on the environment and
certainly
will motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, recycle, reuse and deploy trash
properly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People listen to music for the different reason and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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