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People in your area are having problems wit their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter. Describe the problems, Explain how they are affecting people, say what the company should do to help, v.1

People in your area are having problems wit their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter. Describe the problems, Explain how they are affecting people, say what the company should do to help, v. 1
There are those who believe that only students with excellent grades must be approved by universities while others think they must offer an opportunity to pupils of all ages equally without considering their marks. In this essay, I am going to examine the question from both points of view and then give my perspective on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue the benefits of accepting only students with high grade outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that universities have their duty to manage qualified and exemplary students, and to develop their talents for the better future of countries and communities. It is also possible to say that pupils with satisfactory grades mean not only they have high intelligence but also a strong willingness to achieve. A good illustration of this is most students who have high marks are likely to respect professors very much and study exceptionally hard. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that the environment influences people’s behaviour and development. People often have this opinion because sometimes students with a great potential could not focus on study because they had to spend their time to make a living and then try entering universities for academic success in their late age. A second point is that the conventional system is not perfect to evaluate talented students. A particularly good example here is that a student with a great scientific mind, who is not a native English speaker, might not be accepted because of the reason that he is not good at English. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that universities should allow all students to enrol their schools without considering their grades because not every student is fully supported by their families, and conventional platforms to assess students are hard to say ‘perfect’.
There are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be approved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
offer an opportunity to pupils of all ages
equally
without considering their marks. In this essay, I am going to examine the question from both points of view and then give my perspective on the matter.

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue the benefits of accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have their duty to manage qualified and exemplary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and to develop their talents for the better future of countries and communities. It is
also
possible to say that pupils with satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
mean not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they have high intelligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a strong willingness to achieve. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have high marks are likely to respect professors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and study
exceptionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the environment influences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a great potential could not focus on study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had to spend their time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living and then try entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for academic success in their late age. A second point is that the conventional system is not perfect to evaluate talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with a great scientific mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is not a native English speaker, might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reason that he is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at English.

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enrol their schools without considering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
fully
supported by their families, and conventional platforms to assess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say ‘perfect’.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay People in your area are having problems wit their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter. Describe the problems, Explain how they are affecting people, say what the company should do to help, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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