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Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet and are using the Internet to communicate wit others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online v.1

Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet and are using the Internet to communicate wit others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online v. 1
The debate over a child’s moral education is difficult due to the various view points each party holds. The question of discipline is exceptionally important, moreover whether to treat good behaviour with a neutral attitude or to just focus on correcting incorrect actions. My personal opinion is that any positive actions ought to be immediately recognised by the parent and vice versa for negative conduct. This balanced approach makes for a more positive outcome for both the child and family. Firstly rewarding a good act immediately signals a positive reaction in the child’s brain which should encourage the child to want to behave similar in the future. Failure to recognise such behaviour leaves the child with the same emotional feeling as if they had done nothing. Therefore, rewarding the child regularly for good behaviour enforces the action, making it more likely to repeat itself in the future. Secondly punishing the son or daughter is also necessary, failure to discipline could have serious consequences in the future. For example, if a child has no clear concept of respect for elders or authority it is quite possible to encounter more serious problems later in life. This pattern is prevalent in marginal neighbourhoods throughout the world. Therefore, it is essential to immediately discipline the child whenever witnessing an unruly act so as to enforce the correct behaviour from an early age. To conclude both bad and good actions need to be recognised and dealt with immediately to correct or encourage the future actions. Failure to do either of these could result in a less fortunate life or a youth who rarely performs any good acts for anyone. Therefore, it is critical that both types of behaviour are recognised dealt with accordingly for the benefit of the child in the future.
The debate over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
moral education is difficult due to the various view points each party holds. The question of discipline is
exceptionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
moreover
whether to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
with a neutral attitude or to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on correcting incorrect actions. My personal opinion is that any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
actions ought to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immediately
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
by the parent and vice versa for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
conduct. This balanced approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
for a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and family.

Firstly
rewarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
act
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immediately
signals a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reaction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
brain which should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to want to behave similar in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Failure to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with the same emotional feeling as if they had done nothing.
Therefore
, rewarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
regularly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
enforces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
, making it more likely to repeat itself in the future.

Secondly
punishing the son or daughter is
also
necessary, failure to discipline could have serious consequences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
has no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
concept of respect for elders or authority it is quite possible to encounter more serious problems later in life. This pattern is prevalent in marginal
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
throughout the world.
Therefore
, it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immediately
discipline the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
whenever witnessing an
unruly
act
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
enforce the correct
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
from an early age.

To conclude
both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
actions need to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
and dealt with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immediately
to correct or encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
actions. Failure to do either of these could result in a less fortunate life or a youth who rarely performs any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
acts for anyone.
Therefore
, it is critical that both types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
dealt with
accordingly
for the benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet and are using the Internet to communicate wit others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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