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People in community now could buy cheaper consumer goods. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

People in community now could buy cheaper consumer goods. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
While quality of life is scaling with time, many affordable commodities are found attracting market buyers. Although benefits can be tangible to people, there are still drawbacks with this phenomenon. On the one hand, the provision of cheaper goods presents several advantages. In terms of economical merits to individuals, market with cheap stocks will enable customers to purchase their essential household equipment, therefore will provide a much more well-rounded lifestyle, especially with those with limited incomes. In comparison with Vietnam, most families could not afford a TV in the past, however, basic electronic household gadgets including television are now more than ever exceed what is considered as enough. With regard to positive impacts on society scale, the reduction in pricing goods resulted in boosting the purchasing ‘s power of consumers, which will eventually improve economic status. It is a common knowledge that market’s demand for products increases when commodities exorbitant prices are reduced. As the number of sold items soared, national economy will be fostered to become a prosperity, which will allow further advance on becoming an economical polar. On the other hand, that reducing the price of commodities will gradually reveal the potential repercussions which will heavily prevent national development process in economical ranking and even other facets. First, with cheaper prices for products, industry managers and business administrators will have to focus on expanding their supplement in order to maintain profits. Product quality will lose its position as primary priority in manufacturing phase. Instead, quantity of goods, which has never surpassed secondary priority, is now the main aim of entrepreneurs. As a result, buyers will always have to confront with a potential scams or misleading advertises that many products hold. Furthermore, low quality commodities will lead to a deathly drop in the market’s demand in the long term. What really catastrophic is that with this phenomenon, an economic crisis may occur and its effect will cover globally. In terms of environmental consequences, many industries will undoubtedly sacrifice the long-term benefits of preserving concurrent environment to exchange for the short-term profits of cheaper materials cost by implementing a process without toxic waste and exhaust filter. In my opinion, while our society is gaining some advantages when the market’s offerings become cheaper, the benefits cannot overshadow such drawbacks which can be extremely disastrous if underrated.
While quality of life is scaling with time,
many
affordable
commodities
are found
attracting
market
buyers. Although benefits can be tangible to
people
, there are
still
drawbacks with this phenomenon.

On the one hand, the provision of
cheaper
goods
presents several advantages. In terms of economical merits to individuals,
market
with
cheap
stocks will enable customers to
purchase
their essential household equipment,
therefore
will provide a much more well-rounded lifestyle,
especially
with those with limited incomes.
In comparison
with Vietnam, most families could not afford a TV in the past,
however
, basic electronic household gadgets including television are
now
more than ever exceed what
is considered
as
enough
. With regard to
positive
impacts on society scale, the reduction in pricing
goods
resulted in boosting the purchasing ‘s power of consumers, which will
eventually
improve
economic status. It is a common knowledge that
market’s
demand for
products
increases when
commodities
exorbitant prices are
reduced
. As the number of sold items soared, national economy will
be fostered
to become a prosperity, which will
allow
further
advance on becoming an economical polar.

On the other hand
, that reducing the price of
commodities
will
gradually
reveal the potential repercussions which will
heavily
prevent
national development process in economical ranking and even other facets.
First
, with
cheaper
prices for
products
, industry managers and business administrators will
have to
focus on expanding their supplement in order to maintain profits.
Product
quality will lose its position as primary priority in manufacturing phase.
Instead
, quantity of
goods
, which has never surpassed secondary priority, is
now
the main aim of entrepreneurs.
As a result
, buyers will always
have to
confront with a potential scams or misleading advertises that
many
products
hold.
Furthermore
, low quality
commodities
will lead to a deathly drop in the
market’s
demand in the long term. What
really
catastrophic is that with this phenomenon, an economic crisis may occur and its effect will cover globally. In terms of environmental consequences,
many
industries will
undoubtedly
sacrifice the long-term benefits of preserving concurrent environment to exchange for the short-term profits of
cheaper
materials cost by implementing a process without toxic waste and exhaust filter.

In my opinion, while our society is gaining
some
advantages when the
market’s
offerings become
cheaper
, the benefits cannot overshadow such drawbacks which can be
extremely
disastrous if underrated.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay People in community now could buy cheaper consumer goods. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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