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People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasing early stage. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and effects of widespread drug use by young people. Make recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight drug abuse. v.7

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasing early stage. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and effects of widespread drug use by young people. Make recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight drug abuse. v. 7
In this expeditiously transforming era, the usage of drugs, both legal and illegal, has proliferated by leaps and bounds, especially at an early stage of life. There are many reasons behind this mentality change and some claim that parents and other vicious members of the society often play a negative role in the same. There are various causes which have been leading to such an extensive consumption. To accentuate, let us take the most prevalent issue of unhealthy lifestyle. Today, many millennials are unable to handle the work pressure and maintain the appropriate work life balance, as a result, they consume anti-depressants and other drugs to relax their mind and body. Moreover, the current disease prone society is highly dependent on medicines and other supplements for any type of minor difficulty, instead of natural solutions or remedies. Although they might be legal, but the dependency has been inflated. As we rightly say that the excess of anything is malicious, overdose of a lot of medicines has awful long term effects. For instance, amplified use of paracetamol drug makes the body, which is dependent on the external support, unable to fight for its immunity. Apart from this, the consumption of certain illegal drugs makes the senses slow. Furthermore, the memory of people exposed to drugs might also get harmed, as the effect is directly on the brain nerves. Before this problem takes the shape of a hideous monster, strict measures should be taken to control it. Parents need to check the activities of their children and mitigate the chance of getting under any bad influence. The current generation should try to make their lives less stressful, so that the dependency on drugs is reduced. Many campaigns can be started in schools and colleges for awareness. To summarize, I would propound that the burgeoning number of drug addicts is a matter of serious concern and some major causes include the unhealthy contemporary lifestyle. This has led to some severe effects not only on health but on the society as well. Hence, recommended steps should be taken so that this prodigious problem is nipped in bud, and the we move towards a fit mindset.
In this
expeditiously
transforming era, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, both legal and illegal, has proliferated by leaps and bounds,
especially
at an early stage of life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this mentality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that parents and other vicious members of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
role in the same.

There are various causes which have been leading to such an extensive consumption. To accentuate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take the most prevalent issue of unhealthy lifestyle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
millennials are unable to handle the work pressure and maintain the appropriate
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance,
as a result
, they consume anti-depressants and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to relax their mind and body.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
disease prone society is
highly
dependent on medicines and other supplements for any type of minor difficulty,
instead
of natural solutions or remedies. Although they might be legal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the dependency has
been inflated
.

As we
rightly
say that the excess of anything is malicious, overdose of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
medicines has awful long term effects.
For instance
, amplified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of paracetamol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the body, which is dependent on the external support, unable to fight for its immunity. Apart from this, the consumption of certain illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the senses slow.
Furthermore
, the memory of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
might
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
harmed, as the effect is
directly
on the brain nerves.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
this problem takes the shape of a hideous monster, strict measures should
be taken
to control it. Parents need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the activities of their children and mitigate the chance of getting under any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
less stressful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
campaigns can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in schools and colleges for awareness.

To summarize
, I would propound that the burgeoning number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts is a matter of serious concern and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major causes include the unhealthy contemporary lifestyle. This has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the society
as well
.
Hence
, recommended steps should
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this prodigious problem
is nipped
in bud, and
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "we"?
the we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards a fit mindset.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasing early stage. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and effects of widespread drug use by young people. Make recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight drug abuse. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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