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People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v.1

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 1
Drug addiction is an alarming threat to any society in the world. Unfortunately, unlike in the past, more and more teens are now falling prey to drug abuse. According to some social scientists drug abuse is increasing due to peer pressure. This essay will discuss the causes and effects of drug abuse and also suggest some solutions to this vexed problem. To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that the behaviour of parents has a direct impact on children. It is very natural for children to follow their parents and imitate their habits. For example, a 2014 survey published by Asian Times revealed that 70 percent of children whose parents are chain smokers start using drugs at the age of nine. Thus it is evident that substance abuse among parents is one of the major causes of the same among children and teens. Friends are equally to blame. Humans by nature are influenced by the activities of their friends. One of the greatest social scientists once said that if you want to know the character of a person, you only have to look around his friend circle. Children who are in bad company will most probably develop the same bad habits. To illustrate, I have seen many of my innocent university friends later abuse themselves with drugs after getting into bad company. To get around this problem, the government should take some initiatives to educate youngsters about the ill effects of drugs on their body and mind. The government can rope in the media and celebrities to drive home the message. Parents also need to monitor the activities of their children and set an example themselves. To put it in a nutshell, drug addiction is a serious issue and a threat for any nation. Therefore, the government as well as the society should take some measures to protect its people, especially the young generation, from this menace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
addiction is an alarming threat to any society in the world. Unfortunately, unlike in the past, more and more teens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
falling prey to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
is increasing due to peer pressure. This essay will discuss the causes and effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
and
also
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to this vexed problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is an undeniable fact that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has a direct impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
natural for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and imitate their habits.
For example
, a 2014 survey published by Asian Times revealed that 70 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are chain smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
at the age of nine.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is evident that substance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is one of the major causes of the same among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teens. Friends are
equally
to blame. Humans by nature
are influenced
by the activities of their friends.

One of the greatest social scientists once said that if you want to know the character of a person, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look around his friend circle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will most
probably
develop the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. To illustrate, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my innocent university friends later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
themselves with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
after getting into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiatives to educate youngsters about the ill effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
on their body and mind. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can rope in the media and celebrities to drive home the message.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
need to monitor the activities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and set an example themselves.

To put it in a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction is a serious issue and a threat for any nation.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as the society should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to protect its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the young generation, from this menace.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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