Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v.6

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 6
Today’s generation of youngsters is known to experiment with legal and illegal drugs at an alarming rate in their early life. Certain sociologists widely believe that it is due to the influence of parents and society. Although this may be true, the issue can largely be blamed on internet exposure and the influence of friends. The internet has become an essential part of our daily life and its wide exposure is one of the factors of substance misuse by young adults. Furthermore, they even tend to get influenced by friends, which is often the reason for them to fall victim to addiction. There is an array of information online about various kinds of drugs and their effects. Besides, young minds tend to be very curious as they are at a stage where they are learning and experimenting with all sorts of things. Curiosity coupled with easy access to information peaks interest in the minds of youngsters, and more often than not, it causes the youth to experiment with drugs. For example, an experiment conducted by Oxford University suggested that youngsters who abstained from wide online exposure were 76% likely to abstain from drug misuse. Adolescents often develop a relatively close bond with their friends since they are of the same age group and tend to engage in similar activities. It could sometimes lead a youngster to succumb to peer pressure and begin toying with substance abuse. For instance, my friend Gary had had a similar experience during his school days where he gave in to substance usage to seemingly feel liked and accepted by his friends. Substance abuse can easily become an addiction. Subsequently, most people lose their families, careers and even themselves. In addition to this, increased intake of illegal substances can lead to drug overdose, which in turn can cost a person their life. One way to tackle the issue is to spread awareness in the younger generation through programs conducted by educational institutions, as this is where they spend most of their time. In conclusion, while it is believed by sociologists that parents and society cause young adults to indulge in abuse of substances, it is in fact friends and the internet that impact them more.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s generation of youngsters
is known
to experiment with legal and illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
at an alarming rate in their early life. Certain sociologists
widely
believe that it is due to the influence of parents and society. Although this may be true, the issue can
largely
be blamed
on internet exposure and the influence of friends.

The internet has become an essential part of our daily life and its wide exposure is one of the factors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
misuse by young adults.
Furthermore
, they even tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the reason for them to fall victim to addiction.

There is an array of information online about various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and their effects.
Besides
, young minds tend to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious as they are at a stage where they are learning and experimenting with all sorts of things. Curiosity coupled with easy access to information
Did you mean "piques"?
peaks
interest in the minds of youngsters, and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, it causes the youth to experiment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
For example
, an experiment conducted by Oxford University suggested that youngsters who abstained from wide online exposure were 76% likely to abstain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
misuse.

Adolescents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
develop a
relatively
close bond with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
since they are of the same age group and tend to engage in similar activities. It could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
to succumb to peer pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
toying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
abuse.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Gary had had a similar experience during his school
It is better to use 'days' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "days when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
days where
he gave in to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
usage to
seemingly
feel liked and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by his friends.

Substance abuse can
easily
become an addiction.
Subsequently
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their families, careers and even themselves.
In addition
to this, increased intake of illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
overdose, which in turn can cost a person their life. One way to tackle the issue is to spread awareness in the younger generation through programs conducted by educational institutions, as this is where they spend most of their time.

In conclusion
, while it
is believed
by sociologists that parents and society cause young adults to indulge in abuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
, it is in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and the internet that impact them more.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts