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People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v.4

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 4
Youth drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many cultures. Not only is illegal drug use on the rise, but children as young as 10 years old are experimenting with alcohol and tobacco. The reasons for this behaviour are unclear, but certain sociologists blame the examples set by their elders. Parents who drink and smoke to excess are, in effect, telling their children that it is acceptable to abuse their bodies with drugs. Consequently, children may have a similar view towards illegal drugs, even if their parents are against their use. In addition, drug use shown on television and in films can only confuse children who are also taught at school that drug abuse is wrong. The pressure on young people to perform well at school in order to compete for jobs is a possible cause of the problem. Many believe they cannot live up to their parents' expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness. Also, the widespread availability of drugs means teenagers are faced with the temptation to experiment. Drugs are used as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures they face in society. The effects of abmormal use of drugs are well known. Many young people's talents are wasted, and addiction to hard drugs can cost a user his or her life. Furthermore, those who drink and drive may be involved in fatal road accidents. The cost to society is great, and enormous amounts of money are spent on convicting drug dealers and on education programmes. To conclude, I recommend that the only sensible way to solve this problem is to educate young people about the dangers of drug use, and to take steps to reduce the pressure of competition placed upon them.
Youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse is a serious problem nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on the rise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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children
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
as 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are experimenting with alcohol and tobacco. The reasons for this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are unclear,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certain sociologists blame the examples set by their elders.

Parents who drink and smoke to excess are, in effect, telling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that it is acceptable to abuse their bodies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have a similar view towards illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, even if their parents are against their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
In addition
,
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drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
shown on television and in films can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
also
taught at school that
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drug
abuse is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

The pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to perform well at school in order to compete for jobs is a possible cause of the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to their parents' expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness.
Also
, the widespread availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are faced
with the temptation to experiment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures they face in society.

The effects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
abmormal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are well known.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's talents
are wasted
, and addiction to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can cost a user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.
Furthermore
, those who drink and drive may
be involved
in fatal road accidents. The cost to society is great, and enormous amounts of money
are spent
on convicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers and on education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

To conclude
, I recommend that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sensible way to solve this problem is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, and to take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure of competition placed upon them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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