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People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v.1

People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v. 1
There is an argument that centres on people do not need to go to the cinema by which to enjoy the movies at home or films are fully performance at movie theatres. Even though many smart gadgets could give opportunities to see movies at anywhere, in my opinion, I highly believe it is better to be seen in the cinema. On the one hand, many people have emphasized that we do not need to go to the cinema because nowadays most movies are can be seen on smart gadgets. To begin with, if people can see films at home with own gadgets, each one of them can spend to do other together. In addition, if see the movie anywhere people can choose the movie when they want, what they want, and where they want. As a result, people multi task and spend time very usefully. For example, these days, many people spend time with Netflix at home, while they do some housework too. On the other hand, I highly believe that movies have to be seen at the cinema, that is the best way of enjoying it. Firstly, the movie theatre is made for watching movies, which means cinema is the most suitable place for movies but other else. Take me as a perfect analogy in this situation - when I saw the movie is titled Interstella at the IMAX theatre, the movie touched my mind with everything but a few months later I watched it again at home, it was still good but not that much. Secondly, people can focus only on the movie, which make people fully understand the story of the film and enjoying it. Finally, score of cinema directly gives effect to the movie makers, so watch movie at the cinema is one of the best way to support them one kind of investigation to good film makers. In conclusion, although movie can be seen anywhere with phones or tablets, in my point of view, I am convinced that the movie theatre is the best place to see movies.
There is an argument that
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
by which to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home or films are
fully
performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
smart gadgets could give opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at anywhere, in my opinion, I
highly
believe it is better to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in the cinema.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have emphasized that we do not need to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
on smart gadgets. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
films at home with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gadgets, each one of them can spend to do other together.
In addition
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
anywhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
when they want, what they want, and where they want.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
multi task and spend time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
usefully
.
For example
, these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend time with Netflix at home, while they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
housework too.

On the other hand
, I
highly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
,
that is
the best way of enjoying it.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is made
for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is the most suitable place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other else. Take me as a perfect analogy in this situation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is titled
Possible spelling mistake found.
Interstella
at the IMAX
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
touched my mind with everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few months later I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
it again at home, it was
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not that much.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fully
understand the story of the film and enjoying it.
Finally
, score of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
directly
gives effect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
makers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is one of the best way to support them one kind of investigation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
film makers.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
anywhere with phones or tablets, in my point of view, I
am convinced
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is the best place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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