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In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which of these two systems is more appropriate in today's v.1

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which of these two systems is more appropriate in today's v. 1
These days, the construction of new universities and educational institutions are becoming popular, as the local population is willing to get the modern education. In this regard, although many people believe that there are many advantages of new universities, others feel that such kinds of organizations will create many problems for the dwellers as well as for the local community, as they can lead to overcrowding and pollution. On the one hand, it is true that the main advantage of the new institution is an investment. That is to say, if the authorities build the college for the new generation, the greatest number of visitors will come to the city in order to get the knowledge or visit the city amenities and facilities, which are built with the money of the investors. Furthermore, thanks to such policy, the level of education will grow. To illustrate, the number of researchers is doubled in the Tashkent, when there have built a new university. On the other hand, it is clear that constructing a new educational building can lead to the problems such as pollution and overcrowding. As a result, local communities can suffer from these challenges. Moreover, the cultural diversity in the town can be the source of the many problems. For example, the minor conflicts can hold among the two nations. In addition, the authorities should build the new roads and bridges in order to provide the comfort for the visitors and tourists. In conclusion, although many people tend to think that the new educational institutions are not profitable for the local communities, personally, I believe that these formations are beneficial for the individuals, as they can develop their area and get the education.
These days, the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
universities and educational institutions are becoming popular, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population is willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the modern education. In this regard, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
universities, others feel that such kinds of organizations will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for the dwellers
as well
as for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community, as they can lead to overcrowding and pollution.

On the one hand, it is true that the main advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
institution is an investment.
That is
to say, if the authorities build the college for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation, the greatest number of visitors will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the city in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge or visit the city amenities and facilities, which
are built
with the money of the investors.
Furthermore
, thanks to such policy, the level of education will grow. To illustrate, the number of researchers
is doubled
in the Tashkent, when there have built a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
university.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
educational building can lead to the problems such as pollution and overcrowding.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities can suffer from these challenges.
Moreover
, the cultural diversity in the town can be the source of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
For example
, the minor conflicts can hold among the two nations.
In addition
, the authorities should build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
roads and bridges in order to provide the comfort for the visitors and tourists.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
educational institutions are not profitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities,
personally
, I believe that these formations are beneficial for the individuals, as they can develop their area and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the education.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which of these two systems is more appropriate in today's v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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