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International sporting events make an important contribution to internal peace. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

International sporting events make an important contribution to internal peace. with this opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, people like to be well acquainted with the news and these news are broadcasted with flashing images. Some thinkers believe pictures alongside the news are more impactful than words. While I think it is not absolutely true and I will state some legit example to support my opinion. It is well known that news with images or clips are more appealing to the readers and news article without it could be boring and tasteless. Moreover, photos can compel a reader to read or watch the whole news articles. 80% of the readers read a news when they find the pictures interesting. For instance, I am a tech freak and wherever I get to see some gadgets or smartphones news, it is tempting for me and I can't stop myself to read every bit of it. On the other hand, written news is also very crucial to understand the complete news. A picture can only provide some overview of what or whom the news is about. In fact, News with only pictures and no description would be like a body without soul. There has to be a proper explanation of a news with incorporation of photos. For instance, If a news with image of a crying child in a flood is posted then nobody will not be able to know where it happened, When it happened and other further details. Therefore, for making a news compelling and understandable at the same time mixture of both is very essential or rather I would say words are necessary more than pictures.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to be well acquainted with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are broadcasted
with flashing images.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
thinkers believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
alongside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are more impactful than words. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not
absolutely
true and I will state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
legit example to support my opinion.

It is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with images or clips are more appealing to the readers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
article without it could be boring and tasteless.
Moreover
, photos can compel a reader to read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
articles. 80% of the readers read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
when they find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
interesting.
For instance
, I am a tech freak and wherever I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gadgets or smartphones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it is tempting for me and I can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
myself to read every bit of it.

On the other hand
, written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to understand the complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
overview of what or whom the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is about. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
and no description would be like a body without soul. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a proper explanation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with incorporation of photos.
For instance
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with image of a crying child in a flood
is posted
then nobody will not be able to know where it happened, When it happened and other
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Therefore
, for making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
compelling and understandable at the same time mixture of both is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential or
rather
I would say words are necessary more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay International sporting events make an important contribution to internal peace. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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