Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world, what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v.2

People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world, what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v. 2
Today, April 4th, I was heading to Massebesic Lake, located in Auburn, New Hampshire. Having arrived there quite early in the morning, I witnessed the natural creatures being still lazy to wake up from a short-night sleep during the spring. I started to settle down on a big rock, facing to the lake, then took a sip of hot coffee and observed the surroundings. Well! I believed I found a right place to begin citing out loud my favourite poem, “Daffodils” by Wordsworth. The area was empty and seemed I was the only person in the park, but I tried to look for some things moving and there were a few people paddling kayaks. I was less afraid of loneliness. I started reading out loud the poem. As I began with the first line “I wandered lonely as a cloud, ” a strong sensation of isolation slammed into my mind during this rough time period of the pandemic as well as the stay-at-home order. Yet, I was not threatened by that scary thought because I was in the nature with my confidence. I kept calm to read the next few lines, I was gradually submerging into the nature when most of natural creatures, such as trees, lake, and waves, were standing around me. The poem inspired my imagination up to a higher level that I could feel the natural creature as friends. Therefore, the natural kindness and friendliness diminish my feeling of isolation. “Wait a second! ” I heard birds humming as they were singing cheerfully to welcome some sunlight, shining through the dark clouds. What I created in my mind now is a vivid picture of hope as if these essential natural elements help me create my own natural world, which assure me to continue enjoying nature’s pleasure. The nature favoured me both pleasant sound and gorgeous sight as if the nature embraced me and relieved my anxiety of loneliness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, April 4th, I was heading to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Massebesic
Lake, located in Auburn, New Hampshire. Having arrived there quite early in the morning, I witnessed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
creatures being
still
lazy to wake up from a short-night sleep during the spring. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to settle down on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
rock, facing to the lake, then took a sip of hot coffee and observed the surroundings. Well! I believed I found a right place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
citing out loud my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
poem, “Daffodils” by Wordsworth. The area was empty and seemed I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person in the park,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I tried to look for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things moving and there were a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
paddling kayaks. I was less afraid of loneliness.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
reading out loud the poem. As I began with the
first
line “I wandered lonely as a cloud,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
a strong sensation of isolation slammed into my mind during this rough time period of the pandemic
as well
as the stay-at-home order.
Yet
, I was not threatened by that scary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
with my confidence. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
calm to read the
next
few lines, I was
gradually
submerging into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
when most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
creatures, such as trees, lake, and waves, were standing around me. The poem inspired my imagination up to a higher level that I could feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
creature as friends.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
kindness and friendliness diminish my feeling of isolation.

“Wait a second! ” I heard birds humming as they were singing
cheerfully
to welcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sunlight, shining through the dark clouds. What I created in my mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is a vivid picture of hope as if these essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
elements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me create my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world, which assure me to continue enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature’s
pleasure. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
me both pleasant sound and gorgeous sight as if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
embraced me and relieved my anxiety of loneliness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world, what are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world? v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts