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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for job. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v.1

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for job. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 1
Due to the dissatisfaction with employment prospects in rural areas, the increasing number of people now have a tendency to relocate to the cities in search of better working opportunities. This trend is likely to have an adverse impact on both urban and rural life, yet private and governmantal sectors have a potential to mitigate its negative effects. To begin with, not only do the countryside is affected by the trend but also the city. As the part of the society that is capable of doing manual work is relocating to the city, it may directly effect the agricultural system. Additionally, high competition for a job vacancy in a city, would ensue, creating unemployment in the urban areas. Consequently, while agriculture in a rural area may suffer due to the lack of workforce, the city might encounter problems with surplus of workers. Nevertheless, the involvement of government and private business might enhance the issue. The shortage of workers in the countryside could be tackled by private sectors with the introduction of the technology to the agriculture. With the advent of robots to replace the conventional agricultural practices, the manual work is in less demand. Furthermore, the role of government is also crucial to create more employment opportunities in villages. This can effectively be done if the city amenities are brought to the rural areas. For example, the presence of entertainment facilities as well as developed infrastructure will not only improve the life standards but also bring new work vacancies since the maintenance of these services requires human work. Following this, residents in a rural areas are less likey to relocate to the cities. To conclude, such problems as lack of workforce in the countryside and high unemployment rate in the city, triggered by the trend, could be solved by governmental and private sectors
Due to the dissatisfaction with employment prospects in
rural
areas
, the increasing number of
people
now
have a tendency to relocate to the
cities
in search of better working opportunities. This trend is likely to have an adverse impact on both urban and
rural
life,
yet
private
and
governmantal
sectors have a potential to mitigate its
negative
effects.

To
begin
with, not
only
do the countryside is
affected
by the trend
but
also
the city. As the part of the society
that is
capable of doing manual
work
is relocating to the city, it may
directly
effect
the agricultural system.
Additionally
, high competition for a job vacancy in a city, would ensue, creating unemployment in the urban
areas
.
Consequently
, while agriculture in a
rural
area
may suffer due to the lack of workforce, the city might encounter problems with surplus of workers.

Nevertheless
, the involvement of
government
and
private
business might enhance the issue. The shortage of workers in the countryside could
be tackled
by
private
sectors with the introduction of the technology to the agriculture. With the advent of robots to replace the conventional agricultural practices, the manual
work
is in less demand.
Furthermore
, the role of
government
is
also
crucial to create more employment opportunities in villages. This can
effectively
be done
if the city amenities
are brought
to the
rural
areas
.
For example
, the presence of entertainment facilities
as well
as developed infrastructure will not
only
improve
the life standards
but
also
bring new
work
vacancies since the maintenance of these services requires human
work
. Following this, residents in a
rural
areas
are less
likey
to relocate to the cities.

To conclude
, such problems as lack of workforce in the countryside and high unemployment rate in the city, triggered by the trend, could
be solved
by governmental and
private
sectors
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for job. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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