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People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties ofmodern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in theirgardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer. v.1

People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties ofmodern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in theirgardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer. v. 1
The development of technology has helped the mankind to achieve impossible goals, reach unimaginable distance and explore many areas in detail. At the same time, the crimes that happen at the areas technology is involved are also increasing. In my opinion, the benefits that we gained from technology are abundant in comparison with the crimes it sometimes may lead to. Firstly, technology helps a government to enable safety for the people, such as, CCTV cameras, lie detectors, alcohol level detectors, burglar alarms etc. These are the most common things that help us to keep our belongings and life safe. Moreover, we are in an era of technological boom where we can get updated of any news at the very second and share any information to any random person in any corner of the world in no time. Secondly, the new developments allow us to lead a peaceful life by ensuring that our loved ones are safe. For example, before two decades, we used to wait for a letter or a phone call from our family member when they travel to a different place. Instead, in the new technological world, we can get live updates on where they travel, whom they meet, and they are even able to share the photos. However, we cannot just ignore the fact that crimes are also increasing because of the technological development. Apparently, the irresponsible use of smart phones by young people may lead to cyber crimes and it is difficult to solve all the cases as they are in huge number. An Oxford university study in 2017 on "Crimes initiated by smart phones" says that about 30 percent of the crimes in a year are basically related to a smart phone misuse incident. Can we go back 20 years and live in a gadget free world? It is really not possible, as many of the gadgets have become an essential part of our lifestyle. In conclusion, I would say that all the improvements in technology should be appreciated as they help mankind in numerous ways. On the other hand, people should be educated more to handle the new technology changes with accountability and encourage the upcoming generation to apply their technical skills in a productive way.
The development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the mankind to achieve impossible goals, reach unimaginable distance and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas in detail. At the same time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that happen at the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "areas'" or "area's"?
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is involved
are
also
increasing. In my opinion, the benefits that we gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are abundant
in comparison
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may lead to.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to enable safety for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, such as, CCTV cameras, lie detectors, alcohol level detectors, burglar alarms etc. These are the most common things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our belongings and life safe.
Moreover
, we are in an era of technological boom where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
second and share any information to any random person in any corner of the world in no time.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to lead a peaceful life by ensuring that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones are safe.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
two decades, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wait for a letter or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
call from our family member when they travel to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place.
Instead
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technological world, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
updates on where they travel, whom they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, and they are even able to share the photos.

However
, we cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
also
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological development.
Apparently
, the irresponsible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may lead to cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and it is difficult to solve all the cases as they are in huge number. An Oxford university study in 2017 on
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Crimes initiated by smart phones
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
says that about 30 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in a year are
basically
related to a smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
misuse incident. Can we go back 20 years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a gadget free world? It is
really
not possible, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the gadgets have become an essential part of our lifestyle.

In conclusion
, I would say that all the improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be appreciated
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
mankind in numerous ways.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be educated
more to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with accountability and encourage the upcoming generation to apply their technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Consider replacing "in a productive way" with the adverb for "productive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a productive way
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties ofmodern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in theirgardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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