Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Adams Maryam: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? 1

Government invests the money in various schemes that benefit its citizens. However, debate exists when it comes to investing money in education and sports. Mainly, which segment it needs to spend more on. In this essay we will look into why money needs to be spend more on education or sports. Education is critical in the development of an individual's wealth and status in the society. For the country, it generates highly efficient and improved quality of workforce to cater to the demand from the industries. For example, it produces a number of scientist, doctors and engineers to service the corresponding industry and population. Furthermore, it widens the knowledge gained by a person, thereby increasing his view and understanding of the issues in the nation and in the world. For instance, ability to analyse the economic and political situation and taking actions based on the situation. In addition, it widens the business and work opportunity as one can cross boundaries and expand the business across nations or pursue opportunities in a different country as he/she has gained the required expertise through education. Even though education plays an important in one's life. In the last few decades the government had already spent enough money to make education available to all populations However, due to this other sectors like sports, agriculture has largely been ignored. So it is time now to allocate more money on sports. Not everyone will be inclined to get educated there are people of various interests. Sport is one where everyone looks to excel and would get the attention of the world if we have a competitive team. For example, a country wining an event at the world level would attract attention and can be used for enhancing relationship with other countries. In conclusion, I disagree that the government should spend more on education than sports. Since education is already developed and sports provide various advantages for the country and for the population. In future we would have an education degree in sport to develop it among the younger generation.

IELTS essay Adams Maryam: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own kn v.1

Government
invests the
money
in various schemes that benefit its citizens.
However
, debate exists when it
comes
to investing
money
in
education
and
sports
.
Mainly
, which segment it needs to spend more on. In this essay we will look into why
money
needs to be
spend
more on
education
or sports. Education is critical in the development of an individual's wealth and status in the society. For the
country
, it generates
highly
efficient and
improved
quality of workforce to cater to the demand from the industries.
For example
, it produces a number of scientist, doctors and engineers to service the corresponding industry and population.
Furthermore
, it widens the knowledge gained by a person, thereby increasing his view and understanding of the issues in the nation and in the world.
For instance
, ability to
analyse
the economic and political situation and taking actions based on the situation.
In addition
, it widens the business and work opportunity as one can cross boundaries and expand the business across nations or pursue opportunities in a
different
country
as he/she has gained the required expertise through education.
Even though
education
plays an
important
in one's life. In the last few decades the
government
had already spent
enough
money
to
make
education
available to all populations
However
, due to this other sectors like
sports
, agriculture has
largely
been
ignored
.
So
it is time
now
to allocate more
money
on
sports
. Not everyone will
be inclined
to
get
educated there are
people
of various interests.
Sport
is one where everyone looks to excel and would
get
the attention of the world if we have a competitive team.
For example
, a
country
wining an
event
at the world level would attract attention and can be
used
for enhancing relationship with other countries.
In conclusion
, I disagree that the
government
should spend more on
education
than
sports
. Since
education
is already developed and
sports
provide various advantages for the
country
and for the population. In
future we
would have an
education
degree in
sport
to develop it among the younger generation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
342 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
Similar essay posts: