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Some people believe that only the best students should be allowed to study at the college or university. Others believe that all interested students must be allowed to do so. Agree/Disagree? Support with points and examples. v.1

Some people believe that only the best students should be allowed to study at the college or university. Others believe that all interested students must be allowed to do so. Agree/Disagree? Support with points and examples. v. 1
Children can benefit from various ways of teaching them such as homeschooling and going to educational institutions. Although some believe that children develop better when they go to school, I strongly believe that they benefit best when they are taught at home. I am going to discuss the importance of both ways and why I think homeschooling is best. Firstly, studying from home enables a student to have an individualized study plan because the teacher focuses on just one person at a time. Research shows that each child learns in different and specific way. As a result, the student's academic performance becomes better and there is a high chance of succeeding in school. Additionally, there is no distractions from other students such as peer pressure or bullying. This also promotes academic excellence which enables them to easily apply to universities to further their education and help them to get professional jobs as young adults. Although learning from home has its benefits, going to school also comes with its own importance. While students are at school, they get to interact socially with others. This in turn helps build social skills which improve their self confidence. These skills are also beneficial when they grow up as adults working in the professional fields. In conclusion, students can get social skills by going to school and they focus more on their studies and also get better academic results by getting taught at home. Although, both methods are beneficial. I strongly think that learning from home is the best way to develop a child.
Children can benefit from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of teaching them such as homeschooling and going to educational institutions. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that children develop better when they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
strongly
believe that they benefit best when they
are taught
at home. I am going to discuss the importance of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
homeschooling is best.

Firstly
, studying from home enables a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to have an individualized study plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the teacher focuses on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one person at a time. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that each child learns in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
.
As a result
, the student's academic performance becomes better and there is a high chance of succeeding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Additionally
,
Did you mean "there are no distractions"?
there is no distractions
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as peer pressure or bullying. This
also
promotes academic excellence which enables them to
easily
apply to universities to
further
their education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
professional jobs as young adults.

Although learning from home has its benefits, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to interact
socially
with others. This in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
build social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
beneficial when they grow up as adults working in the professional fields.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by going to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they focus more on their studies and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better academic results by getting taught at home.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, both methods are beneficial. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning from home is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to develop a child.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that only the best students should be allowed to study at the college or university. Others believe that all interested students must be allowed to do so. Agree/Disagree? Support with points and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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