Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe an idea you have had for improving something at college or work. You should include: When and where had you had the idea? what the idea was? Who you told about your idea? and explain why you think that your idea made a difference? v.1

Describe an idea you have had for improving something at college or work. You should include: When and where had you had the idea? what the idea was? Who you told about your idea? and explain why you think that your idea made a difference? v. 1
Today's individual; wants to live a high quality life which they can obtain from urban areas. But, staying in suburb area is not that easy because of the various daily life issues. Firstly, this essay will discuss the prime issue which people face on a regular basis and secondly, explain, how government can inspire individuals to stay or relocate to rural areas. First of all, the traffic problem is the main issue of today's urban lifestyle. This is because, vehicle congestion often causes noise and air pollution from vehicles. In the future, this will lead to environmental damage which is intolerable after seeing the increase in global warming effect. For instance, environmental study has shown that air damaging is rising constantly every year about 2% in comparing to the previous year. On the suggestion side, to reduce the future problem, authority can provide various opportunities such as opening a new business or offering higher pay to people who already living in the smaller communities. This step will restrict folks from relocating to bigger cities and also, inspire suburb workers to come and find a high salary employment in villages. As a result, there will be a development in the smaller communities and decrease in pollution and population in the urban cities. For example, Indian government has launched a new law in 2010 which is in effect till now and depicted that pollution has been declining since the people have not moved and more people came to work in rural areas. In conclusion, Lager cities are indeed facing a numerous issue like a job shortage because of the increase in competition in the cities. Hence, I believe, not only government is responsible to think about future negative impact but individuals as well. Nevertheless, no one has right to force anybody for anything in the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's individual; wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a high quality life which they can obtain from urban areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, staying in suburb area is not that easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the various daily life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face on a regular basis and
secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can inspire individuals to stay or relocate to rural areas.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the traffic problem is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's urban lifestyle. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, vehicle congestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
causes noise and air pollution from vehicles. In the future, this will lead to environmental damage which is intolerable after seeing the increase in global warming effect.
For instance
, environmental study has shown that air damaging is rising
constantly
every year about 2% in comparing to the previous year.

On the suggestion side, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the future problem, authority can provide various opportunities such as opening a new business or offering higher pay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who already living in the smaller communities. This step will restrict folks from relocating to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
also
, inspire suburb workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and find a high salary employment in villages.
As a result
, there will be a development in the smaller communities and decrease in pollution and population in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has launched a new law in 2010 which is in effect till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and depicted that pollution has been declining since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
came to work in rural areas.

In conclusion
, Lager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
indeed
facing a numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
like a job shortage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increase in competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Hence
, I believe, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals
as well
.
Nevertheless
, no one has right to force anybody for anything in the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe an idea you have had for improving something at college or work. You should include: When and where had you had the idea? what the idea was? Who you told about your idea? and explain why you think that your idea made a difference? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts