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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? v.10

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? v. 10
Recently, the world is suffering from an economic downturn. Most of the countries are affected in many ways and one of it is the decrements of employment rate. Lots of excellent graduates are left jobless. In order to fix this issue, we need to identify the reasons behind it. One of the major reasons for this is that companies are being restricted in hiring new staffs due to the financial crisis. Only the best candidates are appointed to the post. The candidates need to be whole rounded and fulfilled the criteria needed for the organisation. As an example, Malaysia Airlines is currently restructuring its organisation in order to overcome the economic crisis. Thus, it needs to select the less qualified employees and choose new employees who are suitable to take over the available job. Another aspect to be looked into this matter is the society itself has become quite choosy. We have tonnes of jobs being advertised in the newspaper but fewer people show up at the interviews. Most of the brainy candidates already have their preferences and that’s why they never try a different path or the job being offered. In my perspective, they should try to work on something, gain some experiences, proceed with their dreams in later life rather than sit back and wait for the opportunity to come. For example, most of the multinational companies hire foreigners as they are less choosy in their job scope. Nevertheless, all these factors come with solutions. The government may provide grants for the graduates to start their business. The doctors could open their own clinics rather than waiting to work in a hospital while the engineers could set up a business suggesting new technology. By opening a business, they could help to reduce the unemployment rate as they also employ some labour. Taking Marc Zuckerberg as the example, he built a Facebook empire out of his interest in IT and provided many spots for IT genius to fill in. Furthermore, the employee may provide a more secure job. Jobs that not only come with great benefits but also fringe payments could encourage the youth to take up the challenge. For instance, a chemical company could provide health insurance for the workers as the workers have to deal with many chemicals that could harm their state of health. In short, I would say that there are more reasons engage to this matter but these are the main terms that could have the biggest impact. Therefore, in order for us to fix all these, the solutions proposed need to be supported by a great team especially the authorities.
Recently, the world is suffering from an economic downturn. Most of the countries are
affected
in
many
ways and one of it is the decrements of employment rate. Lots of excellent graduates are
left
jobless. In order to
fix
this issue, we
need
to identify the reasons behind it.

One of the major reasons for this is that
companies
are
being restricted
in hiring new staffs due to the financial crisis.
Only
the best candidates
are appointed
to the post. The candidates
need
to be whole rounded and fulfilled the criteria needed for the
organisation
. As an example, Malaysia Airlines is
currently
restructuring its
organisation
in order to overcome the economic crisis.
Thus
, it
needs
to select the less qualified employees and choose new employees who are suitable to take over the available job.

Another aspect to
be looked
into this matter is the society itself has become quite choosy. We have tonnes of
jobs
being advertised
in the newspaper
but
fewer
people
show
up at the interviews. Most of the brainy candidates already have their preferences and that’s why they never try a
different
path or the
job
being offered
. In my perspective, they should try to work on something, gain
some
experiences, proceed with their dreams in later life
rather
than sit back and wait for the opportunity to
come
.
For example
, most of the multinational
companies
hire foreigners as they are less choosy in their
job
scope.

Nevertheless
, all these factors
come
with solutions. The
government
may provide grants for the graduates to
start
their business. The doctors could open their
own
clinics
rather
than waiting to work in a hospital while the engineers could set up a business suggesting new technology. By opening a business, they could
help
to
reduce
the unemployment rate as they
also
employ
some
labour
. Taking Marc Zuckerberg as the example, he built a Facebook empire out of his interest in IT and provided
many
spots for IT genius to fill in.

Furthermore
, the employee may provide a more secure
job
.
Jobs
that not
only
come
with great benefits
but
also
fringe payments could encourage the youth to take up the challenge.
For instance
, a chemical
company
could provide health insurance for the workers as the workers
have to
deal with
many
chemicals that could harm their state of health.

In short, I would say that there are more reasons engage to this matter
but
these are the main terms that could have the biggest impact.
Therefore
, in order for us to
fix
all these, the solutions proposed
need
to
be supported
by a great team
especially
the authorities.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? v. 10

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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