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People getting addicted to other region food rather than local food. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of it. v.2

People getting addicted to other region food rather than local food. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of it. v. 2
It is observed that the populace is fanatic to different country's cuisine instead of consuming their own farm land products. The merit of eating other nations food is to manage their culinary delight in the future and the drawback is lead to prolong health issues. The main advantage of tasting other regional food is getting adopted to their usual intake. In other words, when people getting opportunity to work or travelling as a tourist to different countries has the capability to survive with those local foods if it had been eaten earlier. Therefore, they do not have to starve for their home food, instead they can manage with the local products during their stay. For example, when I was 20 years old, I got a chance to visit Japan as a tourist and I managed to consume their food because I have already had their cooking. Thus, it helps to reduce our hunger when we have to live in other nations without having our own country items. As for demerit as concerns eating different regions foodstuff may lead to health problems. That is because it has more preservatives added in the ingredients which made the food to be used for long time. But, the local products are available daily without any added items to preserve the food and hence it has more nutrients that help the people to live long. For instance, in India, people are using the organic products which were grown in their farmland to keep them fit and active. So, it is obvious that the consumption of other regions meal will harm the people to become sick and it has to be reduced by having the farm food in their own country. In conclusion, the pros of eating different society food items will help them to thrive in those countries, while the cons of different cuisine may make them sick often which might lead to life threatening diseases that can be avoided by the consumption of local food.
It
is observed
that the populace is fanatic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
country's cuisine
instead
of consuming their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
farm land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The merit of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is to manage their culinary delight in the future and the drawback is lead to prolong health issues.

The main advantage of tasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is getting adopted to their usual intake. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting opportunity to work or travelling as a tourist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries has the capability to survive with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
if it had
been eaten
earlier.
Therefore
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
starve for their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
instead
they can manage with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
during their stay.
For example
, when I was 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to visit Japan as a tourist and I managed to consume their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have already had their cooking.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our hunger when we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations without having our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country items.

As for demerit as concerns eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions foodstuff may lead to health problems.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more preservatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the ingredients which made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are available daily without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
items to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
hence
it has more nutrients that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long.
For instance
, in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using the organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
were grown
in their farmland to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit and active.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is obvious that the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "regions'" or "region's"?
regions
meal will harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become sick and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by having the farm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

In conclusion
, the pros of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to thrive in those countries, while the cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cuisine may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
which might lead to life threatening diseases that can
be avoided
by the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People getting addicted to other region food rather than local food. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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