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People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v.5

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v. 5
People consume more processed meal nowadays compared to the past generation. This is because processed meal saves time as to meet up with daily schedule and the resultant effect is that they get excessively over-weight. People eat more processed meal compared to the past because it is time effective. The reason is that the activities they involve in may be too clustered not to allow them to settle and eat a healthy meal. Therefore, they need arises as to rush off quickly in order to meet up with their work schedule. To illustrate further, a recent study showed that the average employee who eats more of processed meal comes to work early and finishes up his duties at the office than the average worker in the 1970s The primary effect of the widespread chronic is obesity. When people eat more of processed meal, they get excessively over-weight. It shows that the largest section of the population that want to save time and eat processed meal results in being over-weight. It could mean that, they are running behind schedule in their daily activities and want to meet up or they lack finance to buy healthy meal. To clarify, Manchester United football club employed the services of a dietician who studied the eating habits of players and he discovered that players who ate more of processed meal tend to gain excessive weight and lose form in the process compared to those that ate lesser processed meal. In conclusion, people consume more of processed meal than in the previous generation because it saves time to do more activities and the effect is that they gain weight excessively which becomes detrimental to their health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
consume more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
nowadays compared to the past generation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with daily schedule and the resultant effect is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excessively
over-weight.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
compared to the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effective. The reason is that the activities they involve in may be too clustered not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to settle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.
Therefore
, they need arises as to rush off
quickly
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with their work schedule. To illustrate
further
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the average employee who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eats
more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to work early and finishes up his duties at the office than the average worker in the 1970s

The primary effect of the widespread chronic is obesity. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excessively
over-weight. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the largest section of the population that want to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
results in being over-weight. It could mean that, they are running behind schedule in their daily activities and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
up or
they lack finance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
. To clarify, Manchester United football club employed the services of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dietician
who studied the eating habits of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
players and
he discovered that players who ate more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
tend to gain excessive weight and lose form in the process compared to those that ate lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
meal.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
than in the previous generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do more activities and the effect is that they gain weight
excessively
which becomes detrimental to their health.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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