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In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe ing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v.4

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe ing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v. 4
Quite a number of places need construction of new home building and the only vacant areas are in the rural areas. Some individuals feel it is crucial to protect these countryside and not to have new houses there. In my opinion, I agree with this notion as building new homes will lead to overpopulation and also increase the crime rate in this areas. First of all, the life expectancy of people in the rural areas is high because the population is less and this needs to be protected. Building new house with this available space will lead to the influx of people to the area thereby increasing their population. Overpopulation leads to environmental and health problems that will ultimately decrease their life expectancy. For example, the suburb area of Chicago that is known for the longevity of its inhabitant, is now experiencing a 5% reduction in their life expectancy since the local government approved the use of the 100 hectares of land for home construction. Additionally, the crime rate of these areas are likely to go up with the new buildings. Nationally, most country sides have the lowest number of criminals and to keep it this way it is essential not to allow this free space to be used for new homes. The more people in a community the higher the crime rate. For instance, a suburb area called Buckhead in Norway, which is the safest place in the world for several years, is now longer the safest since the construction of 2, 000 new homes for the retirees. To conclude, although there is need for building new homes in most places, it is vital not to use the available space in the countryside as this will eventually cause health and economic issue in their areas that pride themselves on those valves.
Quite a number of places need construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
vacant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals feel it is crucial to protect
Did you mean "this countryside" or "these countrysides"?
these countryside
and not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
there. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
will lead to overpopulation and
also
increase the crime rate in
Did you mean "these"?
this
areas.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the life expectancy of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the population is less and this needs to
be protected
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with this available space will lead to the influx of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
thereby increasing their population. Overpopulation leads to environmental and health problems that will
ultimately
decrease their life expectancy.
For example
, the suburb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of Chicago that
is known
for the longevity of its inhabitant, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
experiencing a 5% reduction in their life expectancy since the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
approved the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the 100 hectares of land for home construction.

Additionally
, the crime rate of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are likely to go up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Nationally
, most country sides have the lowest number of criminals and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it this way it is essential not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
this free space to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. The more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a community the higher the crime rate.
For instance
, a suburb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Buckhead
in Norway, which is the safest place in the world for several years, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
longer the safest since the construction of 2, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the retirees.

To conclude
, although there
is need
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in most places, it is vital not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the available space in the countryside as this will
eventually
cause health and economic issue in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
that pride themselves on those valves.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe ing it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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