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people eat more processed food than they did in the past. why is this? what are the effects of this? v.3

people eat more processed food than they did in the past. why is this? what are the effects of this? v. 3
Currently, people are eating more processed food compared to they ate in the previous years. The main reason behind this is that people are becoming more hygienic and it may affect their healthy life. Nowadays, people are eating more hygienic food because they know how to protect them from such decease caused by unprocessed diet. And also, In the current market, many foods are available which are not good for our health so we have to process them before eating. For example, many brands like Domino's and Mac Donalds provide us processed and healthy diet. Furthermore, we can see many decease are occurring due to non-hygienic food and The latest study says that the rate of decease is decreasing compared to the previous decade. The main effect of taking processed diet is a healthy life. The better your health, the better you live and the better you can focus on your work. Once you have a healthy life, you can take good and positive decisions also, you may get a positive response where you are living in. The evidence of the healthy life report of 2018 says that people become healthier compared to the last decade and which is a positive side in developing countries. In conclusion, we can say that people become more hygienic compared to the previous decade by taking processed food and which is affecting their healthier life.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
compared to they ate in the previous years. The main reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more hygienic and it may affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating more hygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know how to protect them from such decease caused by unprocessed diet. And
also
, In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are available which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
process them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
eating.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
brands like Domino's and Mac
Possible spelling mistake found.
Donalds
provide us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.
Furthermore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible agreement error. The noun decease seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much decease", "a good deal of decease".
many decease
are occurring due to non-hygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and The latest study says that the rate of decease is decreasing compared to the previous decade.

The main effect of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
diet is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The better your health, the better you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and the better you can focus on your work. Once you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you can take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
decisions
also
, you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response where you are living in. The evidence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
report of 2018 says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become healthier compared to the last decade and which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

In conclusion
, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more hygienic compared to the previous decade by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and which is affecting their healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay people eat more processed food than they did in the past. why is this? what are the effects of this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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