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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

It is observed that in a few countries, a large number of people are facing health-related issues due to consumption of fast food. However, to solve this problem, posing higher tax by the government on junk food is not a solution, and definitely not a necessity. In my opinion, imposing huge tax is only going to increase the burden on people, especially the lower and middle class. Moreover, this is a negative enforcement that may go against the decision as someone who still wishes to eat it will pay the tax and yet consume the junk. Imposing huge tax on junk food will elevate the ongoing misery of tax and affect the common man largely as he is already paying multiple taxes, example: tax on salary earned, using restaurants, shopping, etc. Tax, according to me is going to work against as one needs to be self-conscious about one’s health. Like the government had ruled out the harsh punishment from school: hitting students that used to happen earlier. It also started allowing learners to move to higher grades till grade 8 to reduce increasing suicidal cases. Why did the government take this decision? This is only because this was a creating negativity. Hence, I strongly feel that the decision of a higher tax on junk food consumption is just going to be another wasteful solution. Hence the government should think of a positive motivator instead. Another vital factor to consider here is even if a high tax is levied on intake of junk food, someone who wishes to have it or is addicted to it will still pay that high tax and continue to have the same. This tax might only be like giving away a drop of water from the sea for the elite class. How is it putting a stop to the consumption of junk food? It will not! Instead, creating awareness among the people of the country through campaigns in schools, societies, and advertisements will be beneficial. This will educate people who are inclined to eat junk food and also protect the ones who are not on the path as yet. In conclusion, health is vital, however charging high tax on junk food is not an apt solution, instead the government must think on creative ways to look into this serious matter.
It
is observed
that in a few countries,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing health-related issues due to consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
, to solve this problem, posing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not a solution, and definitely not a necessity. In my opinion, imposing huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
going to increase the burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the lower and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Moreover
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
enforcement that may go against the decision as someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
still
wishes to eat it will pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and
yet
consume the junk.

Imposing huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will elevate the ongoing misery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and affect the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
largely
as he is already paying multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, example:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on salary earned, using restaurants, shopping, etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
, according to me is going to work against as one needs to be self-conscious about one’s health. Like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had ruled out the harsh punishment from school: hitting students that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to happen earlier. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
allowing learners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to higher grades till grade 8 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
increasing suicidal cases. Why did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take this decision? This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this was a creating negativity.
Hence
, I
strongly
feel that the decision of a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going to be another wasteful solution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
motivator
instead
.

Another vital factor to consider here is even if a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is levied
on intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wishes to have it or
is addicted
to it will
still
pay that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and continue to have the same. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be like giving away a drop of water from the sea for the elite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. How is it putting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
? It will not!
Instead
, creating awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the country through campaigns in schools, societies, and advertisements will be beneficial. This will educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are inclined
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not on the path as
yet
.

In conclusion
, health is vital,
however
charging high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not an apt solution,
instead
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
on creative ways to look into this serious matter.
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IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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