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People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungi jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungi jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. v. 1
Since the beginning of the modern civilization as we know it, mankind has always been adventurous and thrill seeking. There is a common belief in the public that the people who like play dangerous sports like the scuba diving and the bungee jump should be responsible for their own life, not the rescue workers. I completely disagree with the statement, rescue professionals holds the responsibilities of saving the lives in difficult situations. Popularity of the adventure sports has been on the rise for a long time, thrill seekers are exploring new ways to experience adrenaline rush. Therefore, they play the sports like the skydiving, scuba diving and the bungee jump. When these activities do not go as expected, the professional rescuers play a very important role in saving the precious lives. The rescue workers are trained to handle the situations which are near out of control and they singed up for the job knowing all the risks and responsibilities. Hence, I believe, they have the critical job of saving the public in the time of need. People usually sign up for the dangerous sports only when they are confident about the safety precautions. For example, a person who wants to do the scuba diving for the first time, takes the decision based the confidence he gets from the rescue divers, without them he wouldn’t even consider doing it in the first place. To conclude, professionals who signed up for a rescue job have the full responsibilities in saving the human lives and I also believe without these experts, adventure sports industry would cease to exist.
Since the beginning of the modern civilization as we know it, mankind has always been adventurous and thrill seeking. There is a common belief in the public that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like the scuba diving and the bungee jump should be responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life, not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
workers. I completely disagree with the statement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
professionals holds the responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in difficult situations.

Popularity of the adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has been on the rise for a long time, thrill seekers are exploring new ways to experience adrenaline rush.
Therefore
, they play the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like the skydiving, scuba diving and the bungee jump. When these activities do not go as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, the professional rescuers play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
the precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
workers
are trained
to handle the situations which are near out of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
control and
they singed up for the job knowing all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and responsibilities.
Hence
, I believe, they have the critical job of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
the public in the time of need.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
up for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they are confident about the safety precautions.
For example
, a person who wants to do the scuba diving for the
first
time, takes the decision based the confidence he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
divers, without them he wouldn’t even consider doing it in the
first
place.

To conclude
, professionals who signed up for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
job have the full responsibilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
the human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and I
also
believe without these experts, adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
industry would cease to exist.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungi jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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