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It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree? v.1

It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. v. 1
Many hold the opinion that those who have visited multiple countries are more culturally enlightened and can adapt to others alot better, in contrast, to those who have not. I fully agree with this statement. For the remainder of this essay, I will discuss the reasons why travelling abroad allows different people to co-exist peacefully. Firstly, when someone goes abroad during the holidays, they have higher exposure to other people and traditions. Therefore, any stereotypes that they have encountered in the past can be set straight. This is because, people often tend to believe things once they live through them. For example, in 2014, my Swedish friend, Ellen, moved to the Middle East, at first she had a very negative misconception about the muslim community. However, after one year of living there her views changed entirely, she then even dated a muslim man, due to the fact that, she understood the religion and its followers in much more detail. Undoubtedly, globetrotting gives a person the upper hand in human interaction. Secondly, although never leaving your home town gives you an in depth understanding of your own society, travelling allows people to expand their minds to acomodate different languages, cultures and music. In turn, learning things you would usually not know through the internet or through books. For instance, I was completey unaware of the cold personalities of German people and thought that they were simply rude and unwelcoming. That was untill i visited Germany in 2016. Consequently, my views changed 100% and i learnt to appreciate their professionalism and monotonous speaking. Overall, there are many misunderstandings when it comes to acknowledging other individuals' cultures, especially when there is no direct exposure to them. In conclusion, visiting other nations paves the way for easier global communication and social enlightenment.
Many
hold the opinion that those who have visited multiple countries are more
culturally
enlightened and can adapt to others
alot
better,
in contrast
, to those who have not. I
fully
agree
with this statement. For the remainder of this essay, I will discuss the reasons why travelling abroad
allows
different
people
to co-exist
peacefully
.

Firstly
, when someone goes abroad during the holidays, they have higher exposure to
other
people
and traditions.
Therefore
, any stereotypes that they have encountered in the past can
be set
straight. This is
because
,
people
often
tend to believe things once they
live
through them.
For example
, in 2014, my Swedish friend, Ellen,
moved
to the Middle East, at
first
she had a
very
negative
misconception about the
muslim
community.
However
, after one year of living there her views
changed
entirely
, she then even dated a
muslim
man
, due to the fact that, she understood the religion and its followers in much more detail.
Undoubtedly
, globetrotting gives a person the upper hand in human interaction.

Secondly
, although never leaving your home town gives you an in depth understanding of your
own
society, travelling
allows
people
to expand their minds to
acomodate
different
languages, cultures and music. In turn, learning things you would
usually
not know through the internet or through books.
For instance
, I was
completey
unaware of the
cold
personalities of German
people
and
thought
that they were
simply
rude and unwelcoming. That was
untill
i
visited Germany in 2016.
Consequently
, my views
changed
100% and
i
learnt
to appreciate their professionalism and monotonous speaking.
Overall
, there are
many
misunderstandings when it
comes
to acknowledging
other
individuals' cultures,
especially
when there is no direct exposure to them.

In conclusion
, visiting
other
nations paves the way for easier global communication and social enlightenment.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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