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People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. do you agree or disagree? v.1

People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. v. 1
Extreme sports are increasingly popular, therefore people doing such sports should be responsible for their own lives, after all, they are aware of the risks, so workers should not endanger their lives to save individuals participating in these sports. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this view. Firstly, the rescue teams are saddled with the responsibility to save lives of the populace when their is a potential threat while individuals are enjoying the environment. Indeed, outdoor adventures such as scuba diving, skateboarding and bungee jumping comes with an element of risk; nevertheless, they are trained to save lives in emergencies. In other words, they have the required skills to save lives without posing significant risk on the theirs; for example, according to a statement released by Red Cross Society in the U. K last December which stated that they have had over 90 percent success with few of their rescue teams loosing their lives during the rescue mission. This is attributable to their great skills, they added. Thus, saving lives of misfortune adventurer is not a potential threat of life to them. Another point to consider is that it definitely not fair to individuals involved in perilous sports if they are not saved in emergencies, reason being that, every life is important. If they can set out to save victims of natural disasters, why not rescue a misfortune adventurer, moreover, revenue generated from taxes are used to fund the rescue activities. For instance, from the revenue generated from taxes, the USA government spent $5million annually on search and rescue missions (SAR). Since individual doing extreme sports are member of the society, thus, they deserve fair treatment. In conclusion, while some argue that persons involved in perilous sporting activities like skateboarding and ice-skating should be solely responsible for their own lives, so rescue workers should not endanger the lives for individuals doing the sports. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this, as this would not be fair to the minority participating in these sports, moreso, regardless of the circumstances, it is the responsibility of the rescue workers to save lives.
Extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
increasingly
popular,
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should be responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
after all
, they are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
workers should not endanger their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
participating in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with this view.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
teams
are saddled
with the responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the populace when
Did you mean "there"?
their
is a potential threat while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are enjoying the environment.
Indeed
, outdoor adventures such as scuba diving, skateboarding and bungee jumping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with an element of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
;
nevertheless
, they
are trained
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in emergencies.
In other words
, they have the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
without posing significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
on
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "theirs ;" or "the ;"?
the theirs;
for example
, according to a statement released by Red Cross Society in the U. K last December which stated that they have had over 90 percent success with few of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
teams loosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
mission. This is attributable to their great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.
Thus
, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of misfortune adventurer is not a potential threat of life to them.

Another point to consider is that it definitely not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
involved in perilous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
if they are not saved in emergencies, reason being that, every life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. If they can set out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
victims of natural disasters, why not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
a misfortune adventurer,
moreover
, revenue generated from taxes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
activities.
For instance
, from the revenue generated from taxes, the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spent $5million
annually
on search and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
missions (SAR). Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
doing extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are member of the society,
thus
, they deserve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
treatment.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that persons involved in perilous sporting activities like skateboarding and ice-skating should be
solely
responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
workers should not endanger the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with this, as this would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to the minority participating in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
moreso
, regardless of the circumstances, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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