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People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. v. 4
Wearing uniform in the work place has been popularised since the post modern era; however, there remains some disagreement as many consider this a negative development since it invade people's privacy. I, personally, consider that uniform brings unity between staff. On the one hand, it is an indisputable fact that when all employees wear a same apparel definitely provide a feeling of belongingness among workers. In other words, when all members of the company wear a same piece of dress make them relaxed and feel that they are part of the organisation, then, this boosts their morale. Eventually, they contribute even more to their association. A study conducted at Colorado State University and they published that wherever the similar apparels code is implemented, they have more productivity than one who do not. On the other side of the argument, several people advocate that compelling workers wear the same attire is an inversion to their privacy and I strongly support this viewpoint. This means that everyone has their own preferences when it comes attire, especially, in the workplace, this is because uncomfortable attire leads poor performance can also be reported. Therefore, many argue that instead of instructing this, it would be better if they have instructed to follow a dress code in their office. In addition, there is no guaranty that uniforms bring a unity in offices or any other workplace until people change their attitude towards other co- workers. By way of conclusion, people are differed regarding whether uniforms are good or not. Even thought certain supporters consider this is a positive advancement, in my opinion, having a dress code would be even more welcomed since this allows a certain amount of freedom in their clothing choices. It is predicted that, by doing this many advantages may acquire companies.
Wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
in the work place has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'popularised' is British English.
popularised
since the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
post modern
era;
however
, there remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consider this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development since it invade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's privacy. I,
personally
, consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
brings unity between staff.

On the one hand, it is an indisputable fact that when all employees wear a same apparel definitely provide a feeling of
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
among workers. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when all members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wear a same piece of dress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them relaxed and feel that they are part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, then, this boosts their morale.
Eventually
, they contribute even more to their association. A study conducted at Colorado State
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
University and
they published that wherever the similar apparels code
is implemented
, they have more productivity than one who do not.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the argument, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that compelling workers wear the same attire is an inversion to their privacy and I
strongly
support this viewpoint. This means that everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
attire,
especially
, in the workplace, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
uncomfortable attire leads poor performance can
also
be reported
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that
instead
of instructing this, it would be better if they have instructed to follow a dress code in their office.
In addition
, there is no guaranty that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
bring a unity in offices or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workplace until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
co- workers.

By way of conclusion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are differed
regarding whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or not. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
certain supporters consider this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advancement, in my opinion, having a dress code would be even more welcomed since this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a certain amount of freedom in their clothing choices. It
is predicted
that, by doing this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages may acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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