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It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree? v.2

It is argued that people, who travel different country from their own nation, are more open-minded as well as more understandable to others. I completely agree with this statement because of their co-operativeness and give emphasis on others thinking. To begin with, co-operative, means doing something with help of others. In foreign society, people can’t move or do anything without the aid of family members or the neighbors. By doing work as a team, people able to understand each other as well as gain the capability to tolerate them. For example, a recent study found that people, those who finish their task as a team, are more tolerable than those complete their work alone. Secondly, people have to live in a society and give importance of others thinking. In foreign society, people grow up by this way that they can’t neglect others opinion. When travelers began to live those society, they naturally learn the culture of that society and adopt themselves. For example, a recent study, published in the journal of social behavior, claim that about 60% of foreign workers, who travel for work from their own country, adopt the culture of giving importance of others thinking. In conclusion, foreign workers who travel for their livelihood, always sacrifice their own believes and learn others culture’s customs to adjust themselves. They face different kinds of situation during their stay on abroad that enhance their ability to become more patience and also teach them to realize others opinion.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation, are more open-minded
as well
as more understandable to others. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
co-operativeness
and give emphasis on others thinking.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, co-operative, means doing something with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of others. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
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people
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
or do anything without the aid of family members or the neighbors. By doing work as a team,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
able to understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as well
as gain the capability to tolerate them.
For example
, a recent study found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
finish their task as a team, are more tolerable than those complete their work alone.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and give importance of others thinking. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
grow up by this way that they can’t neglect others opinion. When travelers began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, they
naturally
learn the culture of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and adopt themselves.
For example
, a recent study, published in the journal of social behavior, claim that about 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
workers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel for work from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, adopt the culture of giving importance of others thinking.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel for their livelihood, always sacrifice their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
believes and learn others culture’s customs to adjust themselves. They face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of situation during their stay on abroad that enhance their ability to become more patience and
also
teach them to realize others opinion.
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IELTS essay It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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