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There is a big influence of peer group on children's behaviour. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? What can be done about it? v.2

There is a big influence of peer group on children's behaviour. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? What can be done about it? v. 2
Many parents believe that their respect depends on how well behaved their children's are. A child's demeanour is greatly impacted by its friend circle and company. But, Can a well behaved peer group improve child's behaviour? This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of impact of the peer group on children's behaviour. The main advantages of having good classmates on children's behaviour are improved social skills and good competitive education. Firstly, a good peer group improves the child's social skills, since the child's learn more from what they see. For instance, many studies have shown that adolescents in a well behaved group tend to have well developed social skills. Secondly, by seeing the learning skills of peer, they get motivated to study and learn themselves as well. For example, it is commonly found that students improve their marks in the company of good studying students. Thus, the child's social skills and learning capabilities are improved in the influence of good peer company. Besides having advantages, there are certain disadvantages of the influence of the peer group on children. The primary disadvantage is that the child tends to demand things based on things his/her friends have. For instance, it's very common for a child to demand the same toys as his/her peers. Secondarily, if the peers are abusive and violent the same tendencies can be taken up by the child. Recent studies have shown that adolescents having bad mannered peers tend to be abusive and violent. Thus, a peer group can negatively impact a child's behaviour by making them demanding and abusive and some cases. To summerise, a child's demeanour is greatly influenced by its peers. This essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of impact of the peer group on children's behaviour. Although there are certain disadvantages and negative influence of the peer group on the child's behaviour, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents believe that their respect depends on how
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
are. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Possible spelling mistake found.
demeanour
is
greatly
impacted by its friend circle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, Can a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
? This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

The main
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advantages
of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
classmates on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
competitive education.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
learn more from what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have shown that adolescents in a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well behaved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
tend to have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Secondly
, by seeing the learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Did you mean "to"?
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated to study and learn themselves as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
For example
, it is
commonly
found that students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their marks in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
studying students.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and learning capabilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Besides
having
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advantages
, there are certain disadvantages of the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on children. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is that the child tends to demand things based on things his/her friends have.
For instance
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for a child to demand the same toys as his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
.
Secondarily
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
are abusive and violent the same tendencies can
be taken
up by the child. Recent studies have shown that adolescents having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
tend to be abusive and violent.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can
negatively
impact a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by making them demanding and abusive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
summerise
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Possible spelling mistake found.
demeanour
is
greatly
influenced by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
. This essay discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Although there are certain disadvantages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
outweigh the disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a big influence of peer group on children's behaviour. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? What can be done about it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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