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People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped? v.1

People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped? v. 1
Criminals commit crimes, even after serving their sentences. It would be caused by their education and not prepared for social life. Novel solutions could train them while serving sentence in prison and check them frequently after released from goal. Prisoners commit crimes after being punished. Some people still not approve prisoners as a cell of the social fabric owing to their mistakes. The primary reason is criminals are not ready for the social life in some particular ways, such as they are not trained while serving their sentence in prison. To be exemplified, according to recent research shows that trained prisoners a less likely to commit crime again. Another cause would be financial problems with them due to the fact that they could not find jobs for making a living after release. So that lead to find easy money by doing crimes. Crime could be stopped by some solutions. Firstly, the government takes drastic measures in order to stop committing crimes again. If criminals educated in prison, they could find a job. For instance, by training prison inmates and giving them some skills as needed, it gives them a chance to live without criminal intention. Secondly, to make sure people release from prison should check by polices. By doing this, criminals will be in under control and their criminal intention could be lessened. In conclusion, people continue to commit crimes after they finish their sentence due to lack of education and social life training. However, it could be prevented by doing some skill training and give them chance to integrate into social life. Not only give them education, but also check them after being released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, even after serving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
. It would
be caused
by their education and not prepared for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Novel solutions could train them while serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
them
frequently
after released from goal.

Prisoners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after
being punished
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
not approve prisoners as a cell of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
fabric owing to their mistakes. The primary reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not ready for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular ways, such as they are not trained while serving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. To
be exemplified
, according to recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that trained prisoners a less likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again. Another cause would be financial problems with them due to the fact that they could not find jobs for making a living after release.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
lead to find easy money by doing crimes.

Crime could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes drastic measures in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
educated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, they could find a job.
For instance
, by training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
inmates and giving them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as needed, it gives them a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intention.
Secondly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
by polices. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will be in under control and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intention could
be lessened
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
due to lack of education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
training.
However
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
training and give them chance to integrate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give them education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
them after being
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
released
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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