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Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.2

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 2
These days, crime has become an increasing concern in the society. Most offenders commit felony, even after being punished by the law. This essay will discuss why this trend occurs and put forward several solutions, how to fight this issue. Prisoners feel a sense of resentment. They believe what they have done is justified and the court has falsely accused them for their deed. For instance, a thief believes that, he has only stolen something to feed his family or to live a better life. Although, his intentions weren't wrong, choosing to steal is definitely not the right method. This thinking nurtures the wrong idea. Another factor linked to the first is that, certain people are mentally disturbed and have psychosocial problems. To illustrate this, few criminals cannot differentiate the right from wrong and make bad decisions. This is not something a punishment could rectify. Counselling is the key to this problem. Every jail should have counsellors that can guide the prisoners to live in the righteous way. For example, a counsellor can demonstrate better ways to make a livelihood rather than resorting to theft. This in turn would help the person to work hard and live an honest life. Whereas, others with mental issues can be referred to a psychiatrist. They could receive some sort of therapy to keep themselves in a sane state of mind. In conclusion, criminals often tend to repeat their mistakes even after being penalized. This may be due to lack of guidance during their time in jail or due to mental health issues. Therefore, it is necessary to have an advisor to help with their troubles.
These days, crime has become an increasing concern in the society. Most offenders commit felony, even after
being punished
by the law. This essay will discuss why this trend occurs and put forward several solutions, how to fight this issue.

Prisoners feel a sense of resentment. They believe what they have done
is justified
and the court has
falsely
accused them for their deed.
For instance
, a thief believes that, he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stolen something to feed his family or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life. Although, his intentions weren't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, choosing to steal is definitely not the right method. This thinking nurtures the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Another factor linked to the
first
is that, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are mentally disturbed and have psychosocial problems. To illustrate this, few criminals cannot differentiate the right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decisions. This is not something a punishment could rectify.

Counselling is the key to this problem. Every jail should have
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellors' is British English.
counsellors
that can guide the prisoners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the righteous way.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake. 'counsellor' is British English.
counsellor
can demonstrate better ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a livelihood
rather
than resorting to theft. This in turn would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the person to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an honest life.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others with mental issues can
be referred
to a psychiatrist. They could receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of therapy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves in a sane state of mind.

In conclusion
, criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to repeat their mistakes even after
being penalized
. This may be due to lack of guidance during their time in jail or due to mental health issues.
Therefore
, it is necessary to have an advisor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with their troubles.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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