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Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.1

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1
While the reduction of crimes was always one of the government's concerns, many offenders continue to commit crime after finish their imprisonment period, and this same issue cause to bolster these concerns. This essay will discuss the two main contributors that cause ex-offenders to perpetrate crime again when they release from prison, including unemployment and lack of knowledge and skill. This essay will also put forward some solutions to tackle this issue. There are two significant factors to commit criminals re-offend after serving a prison sentence, namely the lake of skill and unemployment. Most of the criminals suffer from lack of education since they are from the weak strata of society. Indeed, they commit the offence because there are no job opportunities for them. In consequence, when people in prisons do not have access to vocational training or education, they would not be able to find a job after they finish their sentence period, not to mention the fact that having a criminal record on the resume makes it difficult for ex-offenders to find a job. Therefore, those who are jobless and poor after coming out of prisons may have no choice but to commit crimes again. Hence, what can help to ex-offenders to change their lifestyle is to provide a training and rehabilitation plan while they are spending their prison sentence and give loan to them to begin a job when they release. These programs can able to supply the required professions to obtain a considerable job after serving their sentence. For instance, vocational training like Welding, carpentry, crafting, hair styling, etc. should be mandatory in prisons so that prisoners can learn personal skills or specific job skills. Furthermore, the government can loan them with a low-interest rate that provides this opportunity for them to launch their own business. For examples, a result of a study indicates that about 75% prisoners who are financially supported by the government after finish their imprisonment and learned skill during imprisonment would be able to change their life by starting a job and leave their wrongdoings. Therefore, to reduce the offence in the society a rehabilitation program and gain a loan to prisoners to change their ways can be effective. In conclusion, the reduction of crime was always a concerning issue among society. This essay discussed how government can mitigate the offence that will be committed by ex-convicts. This essay suggested that the solutions to these problems are twofold: education program for them in prison and provide a low-interest loan to improve their life after finish their jail time.
While the reduction of
crimes
was always one of the
government
's concerns,
many
offenders continue to
commit
crime
after
finish
their imprisonment period, and this same issue cause to bolster these concerns. This
essay
will discuss the two main contributors that cause ex-offenders to perpetrate
crime
again when they release from
prison
, including unemployment and lack of knowledge and
skill
. This
essay
will
also
put forward
some
solutions to tackle this issue.

There are two significant factors to
commit
criminals re-offend after serving a
prison
sentence
,
namely
the lake of
skill
and unemployment. Most of the criminals suffer from lack of education since they are from the weak strata of society.
Indeed
, they
commit
the
offence
because
there are no
job
opportunities for them. In consequence, when
people
in
prisons
do not have access to vocational training or education, they would not be able to find a
job
after they
finish
their
sentence
period, not to mention the fact that having a criminal record on the resume
makes
it difficult for ex-offenders to find a
job
.
Therefore
, those who are jobless and poor after coming out of
prisons
may have no choice
but
to
commit
crimes
again.

Hence
, what can
help
to ex-offenders to
change
their lifestyle is to provide a training and rehabilitation plan while they are spending their
prison
sentence
and give
loan
to them to
begin
a
job
when they release. These programs
can able to
supply the required professions to obtain a considerable
job
after serving their
sentence
.
For instance
, vocational training like Welding, carpentry, crafting, hair styling, etc. should be mandatory in
prisons
so
that prisoners can learn personal
skills
or specific
job
skills
.
Furthermore
, the
government
can
loan
them with a low-interest rate that provides this opportunity for them to launch their
own
business. For examples, a result of a study indicates that about 75% prisoners who are
financially
supported by the
government
after
finish
their imprisonment and learned
skill
during imprisonment would be able to
change
their
life
by starting a
job
and
leave
their wrongdoings.
Therefore
, to
reduce
the
offence
in the society a rehabilitation program and gain a
loan
to prisoners to
change
their ways can be effective.

In conclusion
, the reduction of
crime
was always a concerning issue among society. This
essay
discussed how
government
can mitigate the
offence
that will
be committed
by ex-convicts. This
essay
suggested that the solutions to these problems are twofold: education program for them in
prison
and provide a low-interest
loan
to
improve
their life after
finish
their jail time.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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