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Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.1

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1
While the reduction of crimes was always one of the government's concerns, many offenders continue to commit crime after finish their imprisonment period, and this same issue cause to bolster these concerns. This essay will discuss the two main contributors that cause ex-offenders to perpetrate crime again when they release from prison, including unemployment and lack of knowledge and skill. This essay will also put forward some solutions to tackle this issue. There are two significant factors to commit criminals re-offend after serving a prison sentence, namely the lake of skill and unemployment. Most of the criminals suffer from lack of education since they are from the weak strata of society. Indeed, they commit the offence because there are no job opportunities for them. In consequence, when people in prisons do not have access to vocational training or education, they would not be able to find a job after they finish their sentence period, not to mention the fact that having a criminal record on the resume makes it difficult for ex-offenders to find a job. Therefore, those who are jobless and poor after coming out of prisons may have no choice but to commit crimes again. Hence, what can help to ex-offenders to change their lifestyle is to provide a training and rehabilitation plan while they are spending their prison sentence and give loan to them to begin a job when they release. These programs can able to supply the required professions to obtain a considerable job after serving their sentence. For instance, vocational training like Welding, carpentry, crafting, hair styling, etc. should be mandatory in prisons so that prisoners can learn personal skills or specific job skills. Furthermore, the government can loan them with a low-interest rate that provides this opportunity for them to launch their own business. For examples, a result of a study indicates that about 75% prisoners who are financially supported by the government after finish their imprisonment and learned skill during imprisonment would be able to change their life by starting a job and leave their wrongdoings. Therefore, to reduce the offence in the society a rehabilitation program and gain a loan to prisoners to change their ways can be effective. In conclusion, the reduction of crime was always a concerning issue among society. This essay discussed how government can mitigate the offence that will be committed by ex-convicts. This essay suggested that the solutions to these problems are twofold: education program for them in prison and provide a low-interest loan to improve their life after finish their jail time.
While the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
was always one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's concerns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offenders continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finish
their imprisonment period, and this same issue cause to bolster these concerns. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the two main contributors that cause ex-offenders to perpetrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again when they release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, including unemployment and lack of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to tackle this issue.

There are two significant factors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
criminals re-offend after serving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
,
namely
the lake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and unemployment. Most of the criminals suffer from lack of education since they are from the weak strata of society.
Indeed
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for them. In consequence, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
do not have access to vocational training or education, they would not be able to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finish
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
period, not to mention the fact that having a criminal record on the resume
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for ex-offenders to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, those who are jobless and poor after coming out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
may have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again.

Hence
, what can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to ex-offenders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle is to provide a training and rehabilitation plan while they are spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
to them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when they release. These programs
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
supply the required professions to obtain a considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after serving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
.
For instance
, vocational training like Welding, carpentry, crafting, hair styling, etc. should be mandatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that prisoners can learn personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
them with a low-interest rate that provides this opportunity for them to launch their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. For examples, a result of a study indicates that about 75% prisoners who are
financially
supported by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finish
their imprisonment and learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
during imprisonment would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
by starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their wrongdoings.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
in the society a rehabilitation program and gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
to prisoners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their ways can be effective.

In conclusion
, the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was always a concerning issue among society. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can mitigate the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
that will
be committed
by ex-convicts. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
suggested that the solutions to these problems are twofold: education program for them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and provide a low-interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finish
their jail time.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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