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People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face to face what are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v.1

People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face to face what are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v. 1
Nowadays, technology is playing very crucial role in the life of people. People can do daily tasks, like shopping and banking as well as trade transactions from the home without gathering with the people. There are both positive as well as the negative impact of this personally as well as on the community as a whole. But the positive influence is outweighing the negative, both the effects are further justified. Discussing the positive effects, the foremost important is the transaction methods are becoming faster than before due to technological development. The modern methods are less complicated as well as less time consuming as compared to the past. Due to the less complicated majority of people can learn it easily and apply it. Similarly, everyone can operate it from home, so there issues. Like, in recent majority of banks have the online transaction facilities, so most of people use it from home and quickly rather than going there and security is also provided by them. Moreover, in some conditions when we cannot go out of the home it helps in this situation in buying things as well as a monetary transaction in business from home. For example, a few days ago the Corona was affecting the world, then government declared the lock down, in this situation it helped in purchasing things online as well as some businessmen did the business from home which helped to not to fell down more economy of the country as well as provided food and house necessary things to home. On the other side, some old people who do not understand how to use it, they cannot use it so they have to tell somebody else who help them due to this they feel dependent on someone else as well as they think they are not suitable for this modern era. Overall, it can be concluded, there are many advantages and effects of the modern technology which helps to do money transaction and shopping online. However, there is one disadvantage in my perception. But the positive effects outweigh negative.
Nowadays, technology is playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can do daily tasks, like shopping and banking as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as trade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
from the home without gathering with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are both
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "positives"?
positive
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this
personally
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as on the community as a whole.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
influence is outweighing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, both the effects are
further
justified.

Discussing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects, the foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transaction
methods are becoming faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
due to technological development. The modern methods are less complicated as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
as compared to the past. Due to the less complicated majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn it
easily
and apply it.
Similarly
, everyone can operate it from home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "their"?
there
issues. Like, in recent majority of banks have the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transaction
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it from home and
quickly
rather
than going there and security is
also
provided by them.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions when we cannot go out of the home it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in this situation in buying things as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as a monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transaction
in business from home.
For example
, a few days ago the Corona was affecting the world, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
declared the lock down, in this situation it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in purchasing things online as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businessmen did the business from home which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
fell down more economy of the country as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as provided food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
necessary things to home.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not understand how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
somebody else who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them due to this they feel dependent on someone else as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are not suitable for this modern era.

Overall
, it can
be concluded
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and effects of the modern technology which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to do money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transaction
and shopping online.
However
, there is one disadvantage in my perception.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects outweigh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face to face what are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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