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It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v.1

It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v. 1
As the majority of adults devote most of their time to their careers, job satisfaction is regarded as a crucial part of individual well-being. In order to accomplish that, such a wide range of expectations and aspects should be fulfilled, thus, I suppose that it seems quite unrealistic to achieve work contentment for all staff members. I will state my opinion on the following points. It is evident that there are countless factors that have great influence on employees’ satisfaction. However, in common, all of them are related to money and workplace environment. To begin with, as the cost of living has gone up considerably, people become more reliant on their income and salary stands out as one of the most vital elements that contribute to work contentment. There is no doubt that every employee would sooner earn an appropriate amount of money that is equivalent to efforts, time they spend on those as well as the difficulty of the task. Some of them firmly believe that higher salary provides an incentive to work more productively and by contrast, to be paid less than their expectation, this will in turn affect the performances. Not only that, but the environment at workplace and interaction with colleagues also should be fulfilled to make staff members feel contented with their jobs. It has been proven that having good co-workers and open-minded managers could prevent people from conflicts which may result in some psychological effects and reignite their passion for work. To illustrate this point, if people are treated with respect and admiration by the others, especially seniors, they feel motivated and willing to try their best. Although an expectation of career contentment seems to be desirable, it is difficult to imagine a world in which everyone is truly pleased with their jobs. Each one has its own needs and problems. While some people are discouraged with their works because of poor payment, others complain about the future prospect.  Even if these criteria were met, some people would start complaining about others. Under no circumstances could we satisfy them all. To conclude, some aspects such as respect from one’s colleagues and fair pay can increase their interest in the workplace, however, the job satisfaction of all staff members is unlikely to happen.
As the majority of adults devote most of their time to their careers,
job
satisfaction
is regarded
as a crucial part of individual well-being. In order to accomplish that, such a wide range of expectations and aspects should
be fulfilled
,
thus
, I suppose that it seems quite unrealistic to achieve
work
contentment for all staff members. I will state my opinion on the following points.

It is evident that there are countless factors that have great influence on employees’ satisfaction.
However
, in common, all of them
are related
to money and workplace environment. To
begin
with, as the cost of living has gone up
considerably
,
people
become more reliant on their income and salary stands out as one of the most vital elements that contribute to
work
contentment. There is no doubt that every employee would sooner earn an appropriate amount of money
that is
equivalent to efforts, time they spend on those
as well
as the difficulty of the task.
Some
of them
firmly
believe that higher salary provides an incentive to
work
more
productively
and by contrast, to
be paid
less than their expectation, this will in turn affect the performances. Not
only
that,
but
the environment at workplace and interaction with colleagues
also
should
be fulfilled
to
make
staff members feel contented with their
jobs
. It has
been proven
that having
good
co-workers and open-minded managers could
prevent
people
from conflicts which may result in
some
psychological effects and reignite their passion for
work
. To illustrate this point, if
people
are treated
with respect and admiration by the others,
especially
seniors, they feel motivated and willing to try their best.

Although an expectation of career contentment seems to be desirable, it is difficult to imagine a world in which everyone is
truly
pleased
with their
jobs
. Each one has its
own
needs and problems. While
some
people
are discouraged
with their works
because
of poor payment, others complain about the future prospect.  Even if these criteria
were met
,
some
people
would
start
complaining about others. Under no circumstances could we satisfy them all.

To conclude
,
some
aspects such as respect from one’s colleagues and
fair
pay can increase their interest in the workplace,
however
, the
job
satisfaction of all staff members is unlikely to happen.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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