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People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v.3

People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v. 3
Nowadays, with the advancement of modern technology people can complete their various daily needs through the Internet and mobile phones without direct interaction with people. This phenomenon has both positive as well as negative impacts on individual and the society and this essay is going to discuss these effects. Obviously, technology ensures a productive life and has made tasks quicker and easier than ever before. We live in a hectic world and the ever growing competition in workplaces and academic institutes bound us to find out shortcuts and easier ways to complete our daily tasks. Technological advancements in our life save our valuable time and energy. For instance, people these days can pay the bills and purchase items through Internet at their own residence without commuting to anywhere. They can do banking from home, can get the advice of a doctor through phone, can book a ticket online, get professional advice via the internet and the list goes on and on. Thus the need to go out and talking with people face-to-face has greatly reduced. This has a tremendous positive effect in personal life as it allows us to have more time to spend with our family and friends. In addition, society also benefits from modern technology. To illustrate, people can do their tasks from home and that in turn reduce the number of private cars on the streets. Fewer traffic jams and less pollution will make the cities better places to live in. In contrast, there are some negative impacts of this trend as well. The interaction between human being has been reduced and this lead to a materialist life. Consequently, family relationship is deteriorating in some cases as people are becoming more dependent on technologies. Sedentary lifestyles lead us to have various diseases and the society will need to take the burden of more obese people. In addition, it is a burden to the society that technology is many places is increasing the unemployment rates as computers and other technologies are reducing the need for the workforce. As a result crime rate will shoot up. All in all, easiness in daily life has some disadvantages to the society and the individual. In conclusion, performing the routine tasks easily and quickly from home with the help of technology brings a lot of benefits and people can save their important time and energy. However, this trend has some negative impacts on both the society and the people that we should be aware of.
Nowadays, with the advancement of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can complete their various daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
through the Internet and mobile phones without direct interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This phenomenon has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on individual and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and this essay is going to discuss these effects.

Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
ensures a productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
quicker and easier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a hectic world and the ever growing competition in workplaces and academic institutes bound us to find out shortcuts and easier ways to complete our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
. Technological advancements in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
save our valuable time and energy.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days can pay the bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items through Internet at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
residence without commuting to anywhere. They can
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go banking".
do banking
from home, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the advice of a doctor through phone, can book a ticket online,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
professional advice via the internet and the list goes on and on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go out and talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face-to-face has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This has a tremendous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect in personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to have more time to spend with our family and friends.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
also
benefits from modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
from home and that in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of private cars on the streets. Fewer traffic jams and less pollution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the cities better places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this trend
as well
. The interaction between human being has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and this lead to a materialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
, family relationship is deteriorating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. Sedentary lifestyles lead us to have various diseases and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take the burden of more obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, it is a burden to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places is increasing the unemployment rates as computers and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for the workforce.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result crime rate will shoot up. All in all, easiness in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the individual.

In conclusion
, performing the routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
easily
and
quickly
from home with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
time and energy.
However
, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that we should be aware of.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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