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People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
Due to globalization, people tend to try different cuisines. Consumption of produce from different regions than your own is increasing. Although a metropolitan city should have various options, I believe individuals should consume local food, as it is more beneficial. Firstly, locally grown produce promotes small businesses. In other words, if people buy more from local vendors, sales and tax collection will be increased, resulting in higher economy. For instance, a bread bought from a shop near you will directly contribute to your city's wellness. Furthermore, feed grown in your city is cheaper because the duties and government taxes paid on imported food are higher. For example, USA import most of its fish, so, the fish bought from the local fisherman is half the price of a supermarket fish. Secondly, seasonal and local feed is way healthier than others. The produce imported from far distances has to be frozen in order to keep its freshness, which reduces its nutritional value. Like, most of the meat in supermarkets is bought frozen and then kept on shelves for as long as 4 weeks. In addition, you should only consume a seasonal meal. Such as, a crop that is grown in summers your area is imported in winters from other parts of the world where the weather is warm. This is made possible by new pesticides, which is proven to kill healthy bacteria. To conclude, while there are some advantages to imported produce, the disadvantages are many. Governments should promote local food and vendors in order to save them.
Due to globalization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cuisines. Consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions than your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is increasing. Although a metropolitan city should have various options, I believe individuals should consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food, as it is more beneficial.

Firstly
,
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
promotes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses.
In other words
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors, sales and tax collection will
be increased
, resulting in higher economy.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "bread".
a bread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from a shop near you will
directly
contribute to your city's wellness.
Furthermore
, feed grown in your city is cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the duties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
taxes paid on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
food are higher.
For example
, USA import most of its fish,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
fisherman is half the price of a supermarket fish.

Secondly
, seasonal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
feed is way healthier than others. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
from far distances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be frozen
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its freshness, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
its nutritional value. Like, most of the meat in supermarkets is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
frozen and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on shelves for as long as 4 weeks.
In addition
, you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consume a seasonal meal. Such as, a crop that
is grown
in summers your area is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
in winters from other parts of the world where the weather is warm. This
is made
possible by new pesticides, which
is proven
to kill healthy bacteria.

To conclude
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
, the disadvantages are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food and vendors in order to save them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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