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1 People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

1 People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. v. 1
Some people believe that historical buildings must be demolished to make room for more modern structures, while others are against this notion. In my opinion, heritage buildings that contribute to the aesthetic, cultural, and functionality of the society must be preserved while buildings that do not fulfil these criteria can be knocked down. To begin with, buildings with cultural value are important because of their characteristic value that contributes to the city image. For instance, the Empire state building in New York is nearly a century old, but the design and the height of the erection draws many tourists to the building. This inflow of the visitors generates revenue for the city and the structure has become a symbolic figure for the city. Thus, there are some historical buildings that have a bigger role in society which is why they should be protected. On the other hand, some buildings must be knocked down because of costly maintenance. There are many buildings that are extremely old and built with low-quality materials, hence, it is a waste of resources to care for such places. For example, many ancient castles in Europe are falling apart because of the expensive preservation cost that owners cannot afford. In such cases, it is reasonable to destroy an ancient figure for a more modern sustainable building. In conclusion, I believe many historical buildings play an important role in society due to their past and cultural significance. However, some architecture is too old, that alternative is to replace them with a newer development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for more modern structures, while others are against this notion. In my opinion, heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that contribute to the aesthetic, cultural, and functionality of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be preserved
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that do not fulfil these criteria can
be knocked
down.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with cultural value are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their characteristic value that contributes to the city image.
For instance
, the Empire state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in New York is
nearly
a century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the design and the height of the erection draws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. This inflow of the visitors generates revenue for the city and the structure has become a symbolic figure for the city.
Thus
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that have a bigger role in society which is why they should
be protected
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be knocked
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of costly maintenance. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and built with low-quality materials,
hence
, it is a waste of resources to care for such places.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ancient castles in Europe are falling apart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the expensive preservation cost that owners cannot afford. In such cases, it is reasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
an ancient figure for a more modern sustainable building.

In conclusion
, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in society due to their past and cultural significance.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
architecture is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, that alternative is to replace them with a newer development.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay 1 People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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