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People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
It is commonly considered by many that cities are a better place to live because of the easy access to educational institutions along with the availability of ample number of employment opportunities, whereas others tend to oppose this idea and believe that villages are an ideal place to live due to less pollution and low health issues. In my opinion, although cities have more pollution, but its benefits such as improved standard of living cannot be ignored. To begin with, those who prefer urban cities over remote areas can easily point out the benefits it offers. That is to say, major cities have easier access to the education, which means children living in cities can obtain their education from the well reputed colleges and universities, which increase their chances to secure highly reputed jobs. However, people living in remote areas have to pursue labour jobs to meet their basic needs because of the absence of education and employment opportunities. For instance, according to the New York Times, people living in the urban cities have a better standard of living as compared to people in rural areas due to their well-paid jobs. On the other hand, remote areas can be considered as a good place to live because of the less pollution in comparison with urban cities. In other words, villages are located in the heart of beautiful nature and is far away from factories and industries which emits harmful chemicals and leads to pollution. Furthermore, people in rural areas are more involved in physical activities due to the absence of high-tech vehicles and modern agriculture machines. As a result, they have to perform all their work manually which reduces their chances of having health diseases including obesity and depression. To conclude, I believe cities are a perfect place to live due to its enhanced educational and employment facilities and if such facilities are used in a proper way, issues like health diseases and pollution can be easily controlled.
It is
commonly
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the easy access to educational institutions along with the availability of ample number of employment opportunities, whereas others tend to oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that villages are an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and low health issues. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its benefits such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those who prefer urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
over remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
easily
point out the benefits it offers.
That is
to say, major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have easier access to the education, which means children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can obtain their education from the well reputed colleges and universities, which increase their chances to secure
highly
reputed jobs.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pursue
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
jobs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the absence of education and employment opportunities.
For instance
, according to the New York Times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a better standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their well-paid jobs.

On the other hand
, remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
be considered
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in comparison
with urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In other words
, villages
are located
in the heart of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
nature and is far away from factories and industries which emits harmful chemicals and leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are more involved in physical activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the absence of high-tech vehicles and modern agriculture machines.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
perform all their work
manually
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their chances of having health diseases including obesity and depression.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its enhanced educational and employment facilities and if such facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
, issues like health diseases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can be
easily
controlled.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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