Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v.8

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 8
In today's world, the number of utilizing mobile phones is increasing at an alarming rate among all ages of people. It might initially appear desirable to use telephones constantly, but on closer inspection the idea suffers from several problems. In this essay, I will explain what problems do we have with mobile phones and how can we solve these issues. In most of the modern countries, mobile phones are used as the main tool for people-to-people communication and there are many various types of networks which are available in order to deliver messages or video messages. In this case, people become less communicative, less sociable and more introvert as they use of technologies instead of face-to-face communication. Also, people are keen to use the phone while driving, thus becoming less concentrated on the road, which is really dangerous for their lives. According to a research done in the world, 60 percent of the road accidents are the result of utilizing telephones while driving a car. To prevent using phones continuously, parents should control their children's phone usage times and it will be beneficial to set limits on their children such as 1hour of phone use per day. As a result, youngsters utilize the phone only for their necessary and important needs, and in the future they will have solely face-to-face contact with their friends or relatives. In addition, if governments make people aware of the harmful aspects of the phone, individuals will reduce its use. For instance, it should be reinforced through images seen on television programmes and advertisements. Consequently, people will not use their phones in public places, especially when driving. In conclusion, these solutions which I above mentioned will support people to interact with others more in the real life and also to be more cautious when driving a car.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the number of utilizing mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is increasing at an alarming rate among all ages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It might
initially
appear desirable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
telephones
constantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on closer inspection the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
suffers from several problems. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what problems do we have with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and how can we solve these issues.

In most of the modern countries, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the main tool for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
-to-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
communication and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various types of networks which are available in order to deliver messages or video messages.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less communicative, less sociable and more introvert as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technologies
instead
of face-to-face communication.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
while driving,
thus
becoming less concentrated on the road, which is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. According to a research done in the world, 60 percent of the road accidents are the result of utilizing telephones while driving a car.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
continuously
, parents should control their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage times and it will be beneficial to set limits on their children such as 1hour of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
per day.
As a result
, youngsters utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their necessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
needs, and in the future they will have
solely
face-to-face contact with their friends or relatives.
In addition
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the harmful aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
, it should
be reinforced
through images
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and advertisements.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in public places,
especially
when driving.

In conclusion
, these solutions which I above mentioned will support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact with others more in the real life and
also
to be more cautious when driving a car.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts