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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? v.2

I will discuss in this article, what push people to try dangrous sports or activites, why a human put himself or her self in great risk just for sport In the beginning of this article we must to know the reasons they push people to do that. First of all, exciting, when you put yourself in high stakes staution your body produce Adrinaline and that make more strong than ever before. And if you pass this position you have Dopamine and that another hirmone you have when you do good thing. Secondly, several people want to try something unusual, some thing is extraordinary to get out from routine and usual life, and then the curiosity lead them to try what they watch on TV. Thirdly, There dome people do not care about exciting or change thier life routine but they want to be famous and attractive and in the end rich and wealthy. That kind of people do not try to thierself, They try to thier followers or fans and that much more harder to handle with. On the other hand, In my opinion and what I think is that is bad idea and perhaps leading to death or disable at the least. In the end, I want to say we must to fight againist this useless sports and activities and try to find something else that we can do so far like reading, learning new skill, Programming, Marketing, Languages, Design and video making and that wiil useful for ourself and our community and for the world. Let's make the world better place.
I will discuss in this article, what push
people
to try
dangrous
sports or
activites
, why a human put himself or her self in great
risk
just
for sport

In the beginning of this article we
must to
know the reasons they push
people
to do that.
First of all
, exciting, when you put yourself in high stakes
staution
your body produce
Adrinaline
and that
make
more strong than ever
before
. And if you pass this position you have Dopamine and that another
hirmone
you have when you do
good
thing.
Secondly
, several
people
want to try something unusual,
some thing
is extraordinary to
get
out from routine and usual life, and then the curiosity lead them to try what they
watch
on TV.
Thirdly
, There dome
people
do not care about exciting or
change
thier
life routine
but
they want to be
famous
and attractive and in the
end
rich and wealthy. That kind of
people
do not try to
thierself
, They try to
thier
followers or fans and that much
more harder
to handle with.

On the other hand
, In my opinion and what I
think
is
that is
bad
idea
and perhaps leading to death or disable at the least. In the
end
, I want to say we
must to
fight
againist
this useless sports and activities and try to find something else that we can do
so
far like reading, learning new
skill
, Programming, Marketing, Languages, Design and video making and that
wiil
useful for
ourself
and our community and for the world.
Let
's
make
the world better place.
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The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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