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People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v.16

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 16
Over the last decade the number of unemployed people around the world has significantly decreased for 20 per cent due to increased rate of higher educational institutes acceptance. According to statistics provided by colleges and universities prospect students apply for the educational institutes for two main reasons: career preparation and enhanced qualification. World' s average unemployment rate had been as high as 10 per cent in 2006; however, this figure improved ten years later reaching 7 per cent. This positive shift occurred due to the fact that both universities and colleges have been accepting more number of students than in the past. Students in Kazakhstan, for instance, attend universities in order to prepare for future careers, which ensures sustainable workforce, which, in turn facilitates Kazakhstan authorities to provide vacant work places and to accelerate its economy. These days not only young people attend the educational institutes but also senior people apply for universities in order to get a promotion. In the past, it used to be common that only young people attend the educational institutes; nevertheless, nowadays, the number of people who are over 30 years old has substantially increased to enhance qualifications. For example, according to " Financial Times" reports, ten middle-level managers who work for Apple company have been appointed to senior-level manager positions after successfully accomplishing a leadership training course at Harvard. Thus the educational institutions became more diverse in terms of age of students. Students attend colleges and universities for different reasons ranging from career opportunities to promotions. Thus it is imperative that the educational institutes ensure high rate acceptance for students who seek knowledge and opportunities; otherwise, it is predicted that economy of a country will be stagnated.
Over the last decade the number of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world has
significantly
decreased for 20 per cent due to increased rate of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes acceptance. According to statistics provided by colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
prospect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes for two main reasons: career preparation and enhanced qualification.

Possible spelling mistake found.
World&
#039; s average unemployment rate had been as high as 10 per cent in 2006;
however
, this figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
ten years later reaching 7 per cent. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
shift occurred due to the fact that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges have been accepting more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than in the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
in Kazakhstan,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in order to prepare for future careers, which ensures sustainable workforce, which, in turn facilitates Kazakhstan authorities to provide vacant work places and to accelerate its economy. These days not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion.

In the past, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be common that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes;
nevertheless
, nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are over 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
has
substantially
increased to enhance qualifications.
For example
, according to
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Financial
Possible spelling mistake found.
Times&quot
; reports, ten middle-level managers who work for Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
have
been appointed
to senior-level manager positions after
successfully
accomplishing a leadership training course at Harvard.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions became more diverse in terms of age of students.

Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons ranging from career opportunities to promotions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is imperative that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes ensure high rate acceptance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who seek knowledge and opportunities;
otherwise
, it
is predicted
that economy of a country will
be stagnated
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc. ). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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