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People attend colleges and universities for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities. v.1

People attend colleges and universities for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities. v. 1
There is apparent that enrollment in colleges and universities has increased since last few years. Though there are various reason to attend higher educational institutions, personally believe that the primary reason could be to pursue a degree or certificate which makes there career more prosperous. I will discuss this and all other possible reason in the following paragraphs. Firstly, usually, people go to colleges or universities to earn the higher degree in their field. It often seems that people who have the higher degree such as Master of Ph. D. can grow faster in the organization as well as get their dream job. Secondly, sometimes, gather more knowledge and to be a master in particular field encourage them to join Colleges or Universities which will have brought more accuracy and efficiency in their work. For Example, one of my friends was working as the sound engineer. After, a few years of service, he decided to do masters in sound propagation to understand sound concepts in more detail. Apart from these, update skill with time is fetched more students to the colleges and universities. It is essential to polish your skills with time to continue the charm of your career. For example, The Technology window usually changed in 5 years, So, If someone whose profession is related to technology then he needs to update their skills as per market requirements. The last point is that migration from third world countries to developed countries through student visa is the reason of overflowing foreign colleges and universities. Their ultimate goal is to settle there after education. In conclusion, Universities or colleges are the places which can bring a drastic change in someone life. So people go there and spend some time with specific goal keep in mind to mold their career in much better shape.
There is apparent that enrollment in colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
has increased since last few years. Though there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to attend higher educational institutions,
personally
believe that the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
could be to pursue a degree or certificate which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
there career more prosperous. I will discuss this and all other possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
usually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to earn the higher degree in their field. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
seems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have the higher degree such as Master of
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "Ph.D.".
Ph. D.
can grow faster in the organization
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their dream job.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, gather more knowledge and to be a master
in particular
field encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
which will have brought more accuracy and efficiency in their work.
For Example
, one of my friends was working as the sound engineer. After, a few years of service, he decided to do masters in sound propagation to understand sound concepts in more detail.

Apart from these, update
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with time
is fetched
more students to the colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. It is essential to polish your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with time to continue the charm of your career.
For example
, The Technology window
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in 5 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, If someone whose profession
is related
to technology then he needs to update their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as per market requirements. The last point is that migration from third world countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
through student visa is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of overflowing foreign colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Their ultimate goal is to settle there after education.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
or colleges are the places which can bring a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in someone life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go there and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with specific goal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind to mold their career in much better shape.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People attend colleges and universities for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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