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Some people think that social skills are as important as academic qualifications To what extend do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think that social skills are as important as academic qualifications v. 2
Traditionally, academic qualifications are considered as an important factor to lead succeed for young people. However, nowadays, some people believe that qualifications are equally important as social skills. In my opinion, I agree completely with this point of view. Firstly, if you want to develop fully, you need enlarge your knowledge and sharpen your soft skill. When you apply into a company with good position, employer always require that candidates must have both high level education and expert skills. Thanks to skills which you gained, you can communicate fluency with everybody. As a result, you can finish your work easily by the aid of co-worker’s help. In addition, when you participate in outdoor activities, you can increase numerous of friends and improve your health. You will feel that you are a good citizen when you become a volunteer. Those are interested experiences that you possess when you are a young guy. By the contrast, if you only own knowledge, you will meet a large of number difficult things in your life. When you face a complicated problem in daily activities, you can prejudice and make a wrong judgment. Because you have not seen it reality, you will not know that how do you do in situation. On the other hand, you read a lot of books, you gained many knowledge, so you can waver between some solutions. And then, you will give a wrong decision and lead to failure. Besides, in your company, you find it difficult to get along with your partner and then, you will feel lonely and bored. In conclusion, I think knowledge is necessary for your job but social skills also play a vital role too. I think we need develop both two things parallel in other to achieve succeed.
Traditionally
, academic qualifications
are considered
as an
important
factor to lead succeed for young
people
.
However
, nowadays,
some
people
believe that qualifications are
equally
important
as social
skills
. In my opinion, I
agree
completely with this point of view.

Firstly
, if you want to develop
fully
, you need enlarge your
knowledge
and sharpen your soft
skill
. When you apply into a
company
with
good
position, employer always require that candidates
must
have both high level education and expert
skills
. Thanks to
skills
which you gained, you can communicate fluency with everybody.
As a result
, you can finish your work
easily
by the aid of co-worker’s
help
.
In addition
, when you participate in outdoor activities, you can increase numerous of friends and
improve
your health. You will feel that you are a
good
citizen when you become a volunteer. Those
are interested
experiences that you possess when you are a young guy.

By the contrast, if you
only
own
knowledge
, you will
meet
a large of number difficult things in your life. When you face a complicated problem in daily activities, you can prejudice and
make
a
wrong
judgment.
Because
you have not
seen
it reality, you will not know that how do you do in situation.
On the other hand
, you read
a lot of
books, you gained
many
knowledge
,
so
you can waver between
some
solutions. And then, you will give a
wrong
decision and lead to failure.
Besides
, in your
company
, you find it difficult to
get
along with your partner and then, you will feel lonely and bored.

In conclusion
, I
think
knowledge
is necessary for your job
but
social
skills
also
play a vital role too. I
think
we need develop both two things parallel in other to achieve succeed.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that social skills are as important as academic qualifications v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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