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People are getting over dependent on the internet and phones Is it a positive or negative development v.1

People are getting over dependent on the internet and phones Is it a positive or negative development v. 1
In this modern era, society believe that children should learn another language as early as possible. In my opinion, I strongly support this statement, which will be discussed further in the essay below. To start with, studying a foreign linguistic from the earliest grade will allow them to learn it easier. This is because of the fact that their brains are still growing and expanding, thus allowing them to take as many information as possible. For instance, in 2015, researchers discovered that offsprings with age ranging between 1 to 15years old grasp a plethora of knowledge quicker, in comparison to adults. As their brain are still enlarging, teaching them a different language during their childhood will be easier for them to grasp. Additionally, children who are bilingual are likely to be hired by companies when they grow up. Nowadays, as trading between countries increase, many employers tend to hire their intern or employee with the skill to speak different languages. According to 'The Economist' magazine, multinational organisations such as Unilever, Amazon and Google generally hire their applicants that speak fluently in both English and Mandarin, in order to maintain the relationship with their customers longer. Therefore, learning another linguistic in their childhood period will eventually benefit them in the future. To conclude, in my opinion, all children should definitely study a foreign linguistic from the earliest grades. This is due to the fact that their brains are still growing, hence they can grasp the knowledge easier, and the bilingual skill that can cause them to succeed in the future.
In this modern era, society believe that children should learn another language as early as possible. In my opinion, I
strongly
support this statement, which will
be discussed
further
in the essay below.

To
start
with, studying a foreign linguistic from the earliest grade will
allow
them to learn it easier. This is
because of the fact that
their brains are
still
growing and expanding,
thus
allowing them to take as
many information
as possible.
For instance
, in 2015, researchers discovered that
offsprings
with age ranging between 1 to 15years
old
grasp a plethora of knowledge quicker,
in comparison
to adults. As their brain are
still
enlarging, teaching them a
different
language during their childhood will be easier for them to grasp.

Additionally
, children who are bilingual are likely to
be hired
by
companies
when they grow up. Nowadays, as trading between countries increase,
many
employers tend to hire their intern or employee with the
skill
to speak
different
languages. According to 'The Economist' magazine, multinational
organisations
such as Unilever, Amazon and Google
generally
hire their applicants that speak
fluently
in both English and Mandarin, in order to maintain the relationship with their customers longer.
Therefore
, learning another linguistic in their childhood period will
eventually
benefit them in the future.

To conclude
, in my opinion, all children should definitely study a foreign linguistic from the earliest grades.
This is due to the fact that
their brains are
still
growing,
hence
they can grasp the knowledge easier, and the bilingual
skill
that can cause them to succeed in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People are getting over dependent on the internet and phones Is it a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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