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Describe a piece of art you like. You should say: what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it and explain why you like it. v.2

Describe a piece of art you like. You should say: what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it and explain why you like it. v. 2
Buying a plenty of toys for children is done by some parents. While there are various benefits that children can benefit from having a large number of toys, the drawbacks should also be considered. The advantages of allowing children to own a large number of toys are many and varied. Firstly, some toys can be utilized as a medium to stimulate a child’s brain, which is absolutely essential for the overall growth of a child. Take puzzle as an example, this game indirectly forces the children to think by recognizing the pattern and the colour of the each piece before assembling it. In addition, by having more than one type of toys, the children will be busy and occupied, and as a result, they will not feel bored easily. This method has been proven by the University of London, where almost 70% of the young age are happier if the parents provide them with a plenty of mediums to play. Owning a large number of toys is not without its disadvantages, however. One of the significant downsides is that, toys can hugely distract some children. They are unable to be fully concentrated in studying, for example, as playing is more enjoyable for them. This can be seen by a growing number of students in China, where the main root cause of their failure in the examination was due to the fact that they spent more time gaming than studying. Besides, some toys can be harmful for children. For instance, there are toys that can be poisonous when eaten, and therefore, if parents do not pay an extra attention to monitor and guide their son or daughter, it can potentially lead to more dangerous situation. In conclusion, this essay discussed both the pros and cons of having a large number of toys for children. Although it has some positive aspects, such as it helps in stimulating children’s cognitive thinking and prevent them from feeling bored, the negative aspects, such as causing a great distraction and can lead to harmful situation, should not be overlooked.
Buying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is done
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents. While there are various benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can benefit from having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, the drawbacks should
also
be considered
.

The advantages of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and varied.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can
be utilized
as a medium to stimulate a child’s brain, which is
absolutely
essential for the
overall
growth of a child. Take puzzle as an example, this game
indirectly
forces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by recognizing the pattern and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "each" is left.
the each
piece
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
assembling it.
In addition
, by having more than one type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be busy and occupied, and
as a result
, they will not feel bored
easily
. This method has
been proven
by the University of London, where almost 70% of the young age are happier if the parents provide them with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of mediums to play.

Owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
is not without its disadvantages,
however
. One of the significant downsides is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can
hugely
distract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They are unable to be
fully
concentrated in studying,
for example
, as playing is more enjoyable for them. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students in China, where the main root cause of their failure in the examination was due to the fact that they spent more time gaming than studying.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can be harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
that can be poisonous when eaten, and
therefore
, if parents do not pay an extra attention to monitor and guide their son or daughter, it can
potentially
lead to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed both the pros and cons of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, such as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in stimulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
cognitive thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from feeling bored, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, such as causing a great distraction and can lead to harmful situation, should not
be overlooked
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a piece of art you like. You should say: what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it and explain why you like it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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